it's been 2 days, i left my books lying there on the table.. putting my revision to a halt, taking the excuse of giving myself some time to rest..

i'm back to my routine again.. sleeping in the day and start staring at my ceiling or gazing out the window by night..
it's as if i went back in time, more than deja-vu, i'm doing it again.
everything's the same.. it's dark and cool outside, just like before.. only that it's raining on the outside this time.. the same heavy feeling can still be felt as if it happened yesterday..
i just gaze upon the night sky, thinking of the same thoughts of the other night, listening to the very same songs that was played before.. i just sat there. unknowingly, hours pass like minutes.. in fact, it's been 4 months since that very night. i'm re-living that very first night of my crushed hopes.

i tried distracting myself by rebuilding and reconnecting the one friendship that was left hanging before this.. the bond's there, but the feeling has long faded already..
still, nothing can replace what i've lost, for now.

i would not let this continue to myself. this will have to be the last time i go through that night again.
the last night i'll ever sit and gaze out of my window.

yet in the end, it still rained on the inside...

i miss you.