card games

i don't know how to differentiate between fantasy and reality.

my world came crashing down on me and now it’s so hard to start building my world on my own again. I don’t know what to believe and what not to. I don’t know what I should and shouldn’t do. even if I do, can I stand on my own and stick to my decision? The answer is no. every step I take, I end up falling 2 steps back. They always say, “Thursday’s child has far to go” I obviously do.. at this pace, I don’t even know when I’m able to stand up high at the top..

memories kept coming back.. the little things that makes and breaks me at the same time. How I wish I could relive those days when everything was just so wonderful, so perfect.. but nothing is perfect, nothing last forever. That’s when reality hits back.

I lived up to my promises. I assured you. But in the end, I was left behind, just as always. It’s about time I should realize. I shouldn’t take everything so seriously. it’s just a joke, a game, I’m the fool, I am to be blamed. The world is cruel. You need to know how to play your cards right to survive. There’s nothing in this world worth living for but yourself. I wish not to get involved in these games anymore. I suck at card games. I always end up losing.

i'm starting to lose my mind, bit by bit, day by day

trials are just next week. shit.