failure

the MUET examination results are out.. i got a band 4.. i'd expected myself to get at least a low band 5, not a 4.. and i actually miss by 1 freaking mark to band 5.. fuck. i shouldn't have been so confident about this.. what is there to be confident about anyway? it's not that i'm good at English, i can just speak decent English or so.. there's nothing ever to be proud off, i'm not good at anything.. like what's always said, 'the higher your expectation, the greater your disappointment'.. something i use to remind myself of everyday.. guess i left that covered up at the back of my head.. and what more, i actually got the MUET school prize, so called having the best marks throughout the year.. what a disgrace.. tsk.. my life is always that ironic, that disappointing.. i should learn to accept things as it is and not to expect..
everything's so hopeless, no, i'm just hopeless, so useless.. i'm like a re-pieced shattered wine glass.. i break again piece by piece at the slightest movement, no longer being able to contain the finest beverage, not even water.. i'm not even fit to be related to a wine glass in the first place.. tsk.
what's my freaking problem? the world will never revolve around me, it revolves around the sun. i should learn to stand on my own two feet and not be so dependable, i should grow-up and be able to think more rationally, i should just change.
i'm a mistake.
i'm sorry.

i have a self-esteem problem.
i need therapy, badly..