closed doors

The 1st test is finally over! Bon voyage to the past 3 stressful weeks and bonjour to my appetite! Food seems to taste better after examinations.. lol. Anyway, the holidays are here! Or more like just a week break from school before the terrifying ordeal of getting our results. If it wasn’t for this coming break in between, I would have gotten a cardiac arrest and be ‘resting in peace’ by now. Okay.. maybe a lil exaggerating.. it’s just the first test.. imagine STPM at the end of the year.. by george! I would have then suffered from a stroke even before I entered the examination hall.. haha.. “choi choi choi.. touch wood” silly.

This short holiday’s gonna be packed as well, with tuition classes, ed-board work, farewells, yada yada yada.. just filled with so many things to do.. bah! As long as I get my 12-hour beauty sleep and that’ll do.. wahaha.. pathetic.

So then, this is the end of my post. You guys can stop reading from here before I bore you with my forever mind-boggling crap.. trust me, I just have to blurt some stuff inside of me before it clogs up my whole system; system overload.

take care.

may

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sometimes it makes me wonder, what's the purpose of living? from a religious point of view, God made us by His purpose and for His purpose. As i grow through the years, i lose faith in everything. i barely have faith in anything, even myself. i live day to day without any aim.. just basically, passing time..

i always see a door in a white blank space, thinking that it is the only exit that will lead me to a more 'colourful' place. But this time, the door is shut, locked from the inside without a keyhole on my side. How ever much I want and wish that it’ll open for me, it will remain shut. Sometimes the knob moves, but yet the door seems so sturdy. Even if I force myself through, I end up hurting myself and damaging the door. It’s as if the doorknob is attached to a wall, just to give me hopes in believing that there’s a better place on the other side. But this entrance was simply not meant for me.
For a person of my personality, I will be by the door. Despite the fact that I have been surviving in the blank space, I will yet be holding on to it for life though I’ve failed to open it for over a billion times.
When the days have passed and somehow the door has vanished into thin air, I will then continue roaming around in hopes of finding another way out. In the mean time, I will be in that blank space till I find another locked door or just a covered glass panel.

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