Black Sheep

my life seems to revolve in cycles. i've been going through the same issues and situations over and over again only in different surroundings, just some inversions to it. Disappointment, left out, being portrayed as a fool. How varied things can get? It’s either bad or worse. dun you think that at this rate, by the time i'm 25, i'll be so numb that i couldn’t even give a damn about my life?? sometimes, i just wish i live all by myself in a cottage up on a hill - freedom. no wait, not sometimes, i've longed to live on my own. i'm capable of surviving by myself.. i'm independent enough cos i'm used to it.. i would prefer not to live with my parents.. seriously, i am still alive rite? i did survive through SPM even though they left me home alone with my brother for a month right before my exam. i made sure i studied, did the laundry, fed the dogs everyday and obviously, i really enjoyed myself for that whole month..

Well, it's either my body is made up of invisible fibers or that people around me are somehow blind.. i think it's me.. i'm always the problem.. people just tend to forget you at times.. 'AMY', a superbly difficult 3 letter name to remember eh? her existence isn't even cared of.. who's she anyway? i know i am short and unnoticeable all the time, yes, my fault that you people can't see me.. just because i'm grounded most of the time by my parents for goodness knows what reason, unlike you people who's got all the freedom in the world, that doesn’t mean that you all can't even bother to at least ask or inform me about something?? oh wait, it's a waste of money to inform me since you all already know that i'll most probably wont come.. ok.. so my fault again.. yes, i should have known, I AM A PROBLEMATIC GIRL.
let's see, "oh, sorry, i forgot about you" yea.. doesn’t that phrase sound so 'accidental'?? i've been through that. i don't want to go through that again.. it may seem to some of you that i am just too sensitive, but it is an issue for me.

and oh, i just realized that i have such a common face.. it's either i look like some whack girl or someone's ex.. and all of a sudden someone will come along and get to know you better. how sincere could that be?? i'm so thankful that you came into my life and ruined it for me.. you saved me the trouble of doing so. How can I repay you?? Anyhow, i already provided you ‘entertainment’ for 3 months.. is that enough?

sheesh, someone should just give me a tight slap. bring me back down to earth. thanks.