-My Blog, My World, My Life-

we need your support!

2008-02-02T03:45:00.000+08:00

http://www.petitiononline.com/buscrash/petition.html

Please help sign n pass this petition around. let's not have anymore lives taken away from us just like that due to other ppl's irresponsibility n negligence. it isn't fair. do your part n help put all this to a stop.

for further details, please go to :

http://www.buscrashnomore.blogspot.com/

2008-02-02T03:39:00.000+08:00

Chung Lern and Nian Ning’s families would like all families and friends of the victims, dead or alive, in the Slim River Bus Crash to come forward and join them in taking action against the bus company. Stand up to seek justice for these three innocent individuals, who were all so young and full of life.

If you have a blog, please call out to ANYONE who
knows someone who survived or did not survive
the crash to come forward to join the Lee family.

Make a huge difference, make a huge fuss.

For now, you may contact Lee Chung Lern at chunglern@gmail.com or preferably on his handphone at 012-6670368.

the sister i never had

2008-02-01T21:49:00.000+08:00

i have always been the timid one,
the more soft n quiet one,
whereas u were the stronger one,
confident n outspoken..
u were smarter in all subjects,
while i was only better in math
u'd always missplace ur stuff
when it's all right under ur nose
n i'd always find it for u..
i was the class monitor n u were the class treasurer
i had to force our classmates to pay up or come up with more harsh class rules cos u didnt like to demand money from the others..
i'd always sing u a verse from the nike ad when u're facing any problems
while u would always knock sense into my head..
u'd always protect me from harm n being pushed around
while i'd console n listen to ur complaints..
we complement each other
just like the cup and saucer
nothing would have been perfect without you.
nothing will ever be the same without you.
though i try to stay strong for you,
but i always end up doing otherwise
for you were my pillar of strength,
you were n always will be my lil mei mei.

we used to spend hours talking about food, boys, school, stupid exams n shopping!
u'd tell me through msn of all the things u had bought..
from skirts to shoes to accessories n said u'll show them to me once you get back to pg..

u promised u'll cook me a feast n feed me up when i get back for the chinese new year holidays..
i promised i'll bring u out to practise driving cos ur mom wont let u drive out alone..
we were supposed to play paintball, bake cookies, go shopping n do so much more things together. there's so much i've yet to tell you, so much to look forward to in the future.. u've always imagined me being the petite housewife baking upside-down pineapple cakes for my kids, ever since i wrote that essay in form5.. while i remembered u would want dogs rather than having kids when u're marrried..

i wish i had been given more time with you
though i know u're now in a much better place,
i wish u didnt had to go, call me selfish or whatever
i need you here, mei mei..
but whatever i do, it'll never bring u back.

i miss u very much, more than u can ever imagine..

I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER

cheche

2007-07-18T15:46:00.000+08:00

You had my heart, and we'll never be worlds apart
Maybe in magazines but you'll still be my star
Baby 'cause in the dark you can't see shiny cars
And that's when you need me there
With you I'll always share because

When the sun shine we'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath, I'mma stick it out 'til the end
Now that it's raining more than ever know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella

These fancy things will never come in between
You're apart of my entityHere for infinity
When the war has took his part
When the world has delt it's card
If the hand is hard together we'll mend your heart because

When the sun shine we'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath, I'mma stick it out 'til the end
Now that it's raining more than ever know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella

You can run into my arms
It's okay, don't be alarmed
Come into me
There's no distance in between our love
So gonna let the rain pour
I'll be all you need and more because

When the sun shine we'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath, I'mma stick it out 'til the end
Now that it's raining more than ever know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella

/sweat

2007-07-17T20:56:00.000+08:00

2nd week of lectures has started and things are getting pwetty 'interesting'...
considering that my uni (UUM) is also well known for it's 2nd name, Universiti Ulu Malaysia, surprisingly it isnt THAT backward after all... with considerable high-tech equipment in the lecture halls and thankfully, internet connection nearly everywhere around the campus.. notes and announcements can be viewed online, nearly everything is done through the www.

i attended my first Malaysian Studies last night.. and it's the only lecture i have which is conducted in english since it's supposedly an international class.. of course, i was a lil excited since it would be my very first lecture in english, gonna be some challenge for me since i've learned this subject in Malay.. and oh boy! after the first class, i'm pretty sure that it really is going to be a tough challenge for me..
i's either my english has degraded to the very basics, (though i admit my english isnt any close to decent to start with) OR my lecturer graduated with a Band 1 grade for MUET..

i'd say the latter, though my english isnt that great, but i seriously couldnt understand a single thing from the supposedly 3 hour lecture which ended in an hours time..

well, for an example, (from the very original notes of my lecturer)

The importance of history:
-gave birth of patriotism and nationalism
etc..

interesting how patriotism and nationalism can be "given birth" to eh? LOL.. so, it is obvious that it's translated word for word from the malay language.. =.="
and.. can someone freaking tell me what does "Nation State Building" means?? are we learning about some state-of-the-art building?? i thought it's Malaysian studies?? =.=""

grr.. i'd rather they teach in the malay language...

ISH...

so near BUT yet so far

2007-07-07T20:44:00.000+08:00

well, i know it's been more than donkey years or more like months since i last updated though i did say i'd TRY to update frequently..

i know this is super late, but i'm already in Universiti Utara Malaysia (UUM)!
it's nothing to be proud of or really excited about actually.. just thankful i suppose..
been here for a week already.. orientation wasnt that bad.. just that i look really horrible now, literally like a walking zombie.. i only had a minimum of an hour to a maximum of 2 and a half hours of sleep a day..

well, through my experience, uni life isnt any different from life at national service.. the weather here is just as freakingly hot, good thing is no heavy camouflage uniforms BUT uncomfortable long sleeved formal wear.. other than that, the basic few kilometres walk to get to different faculties and lecture halls, the usual malay food (they have nasi kandar SUBAIDAH here in the campus!) and yada yada yada..

sigh.. i really dont know what to blog anymore.. i really would love to share about how life has been so far being in uni of all the most ridiculous things to the worst things that i have gone through so far.. but there are just so many things running through my mind and just dont have the mood to.. to add to that, the freaking keyboard doesnt seem to like me at all..

i guess things just didnt turn out the way i would expected and longed for..

all i can do now is just aim to get my first class honours in economics..

cheers

the good, the bad and the ugly

2007-05-22T12:38:00.000+08:00

got a surprise phone call from dear ah chan this morning while i was as usually, still groggy and sleeping like a pig in bed. couldnt recognize her voice at all till i had to ask who was on the line.. opps paiseh.. it has been like nearly 5 months since i've talked to this girl, but thank goodness eileen is still, eileen.. =) just a lil bit of update on her side, work's hard.. she works about 12 hours or more from 10 plus till 12 midnight then having to sleep at 3 in the morning.. at least now the non-vege girl don't have to eat the terrible food from hostel but instead blessed with considerably cheap fast food outlets! lol.. she still buys happy meals from McD like how she used to back here.. but poor girl misses penang food very much.. she did say that she kinda regrets but sigh.. wish it didnt turn out this way for her.. hope everything goes well for here while she's there.

by the way, eileen sends her regards to all fellow MGSians!

miss that girl..

actually miss all my dearies who left penang.. =( no friends can beat old high school mates.. we just 'click' somehow and thank goodness non of us have that certain attitude problem that i find in people nowadays.. sad to see how that rotten apple spoils the rest of the bunch.. Good riddance! may God be with you.. lol

miss each and every one of you and those whose faces arent in this pic.. meet up soon k ppl?

will post up pics of my birthday soon..

till then,
have fun waiting.. lol

p/s: thanks for the birthday wishes! =) *huggles*

second childhood

2007-04-24T03:20:00.000+08:00

no, i dont have enough time to go through my second childhood, yet.

well, i've been pretty busy for the past few months working, mainly still teaching at Kumon and part time jobs at a florist and at property fairs. so basically learning how to manage my own money since mum cut my allowance when i started to earn "big bucks" haha.. but then again, i've been shopping more often and getting pretty addicted to it.. imagine me, Amy, shopping for shoes like once a month.. i've already got 4 pairs of shoes consisting of heels and sneakers, one more pending and still searching for the right pair of flats.. =.=" not forgetting countless tops (think bout more than 15?), bottoms, a dress and 'ling ling long longs' (accessories) oh no... what has gotten into me? i have NEVER shopped this much. serious.. it's only april now! and i still have more things to shop for.. this is bad.. but i guess as long as i know how to control and not overspend, a lil indulgement and pampering wont hurt eh? still doing good.. hehe.. i must be earning big bucks! muahahaahaa... (no, i've not been selling my ass neither at Lorong Kulit, Chulia Street nor Lorong Garu.. thank u.. lol)

anyway, it's been about 4 months since i started working at kumon, so long that i now know 90% of the students there.. or at least being able to match correct names to the correct faces.. found many unique names too.. eg; seraphine, tris, selwyn, chrishan, troy, dorcas, maureen and etc.. inspiring.. lol there are even a few who 'sticks' to me.. lol despite being called 'teacher' and having to hear phrases like "teacher, teacher, how to do this? i dont get it.. i hate maths!!" most of the time, some of them treat me like a sister or a friend.. think i'm gonna miss them when i stop working.. probably after May.. sigh.

but for now, everyday routine will be get up in time for lunch, go work, come home, have dinner, sleep.. it'd be amazing if i could use the computer to blog more often and just surf around when i get home from work.. that would only possible if i had an eraser that has the ability to erase off the queue in front of the computer i see every night when i step into the house. it's a normal sight to see your parents waiting to use the computer for paperwork or checking mails.. come pay me a visit and i'll amaze you where my parents wait for each other to finish playing a certain game.. just like when we were young, sitting next to our sibling, waiting for him/her to finish their game or just hoping for them to lose so that it'll be our turn to play our favourite computer game..

grr... i want to use the computer..

well, at least i get to use the comp when they are done.. which ends up publishing posts at this hour of the day.. better than nothing i guess..

anyway, am having a week's break from work.. going to genting tomorrow nite.. or more like later tonite.. whee~!

hope you all have a great weekend!

toddles.

just look at these retards.. lol

2007-04-13T01:55:00.000+08:00

I HATE MPPP (the penang municipal council)

i got fined TWICE in this week already.

the first being, okay.. maybe it was my mistake for not being able to see the rusty yet dull looking fire hydrant by the roadside of a whole row of parking lots, but besides that, the second was due to non-other than useless, senseless, inconsiderate 'noob-ish' blind drivers that park their car to a certain angle of their liking, not even bothered about the allocated parking lot drawn on the road.. (maybe those lines need some re-painting), but that isnt the point, the point is, i was FINED for parking the best i could at a safe distance in between cars where no one could possibly ram into my car while getting out.. and because of some smart Alec, my car was parked out of the box, a little more to the left, and therefore, KENA SAMAN!!

urggh.

and it had to be twice at the same area of my work place.

SWOI... (unlucky) =.="

!@#$%^&*

well, i know this isnt a very pleasing post, especially being the first words of my existence since my long absence.. but heck it. i'll try to update more on my disappearing act for the past months as soon as possible.. till then, u guys will hear from me more back here again, i hope..

toddles

overshadowed

2007-01-07T10:29:00.000+08:00

i've just started work at Kumon.. yes, the place that didnt-intend-to-hire-me-but-just-asked-me-to-wait-for-goodness-gracious-till-when-but-instead-hire-my-classmate-on-the-spot-because-she-knows-mandarin-while-i-have-been-waiting-since-the-week-before-christmas. and so, they finally called me yesterday at about 8 in the morning to ask me over to their centre for "training" from 9-3pm. curious of why i'm being called when they've already hired enough people, i just couldnt bother because i am in need of money.. lol.. they did repeatedly say that i'll be paid for the "training" over the phone.
as i got there, i realised why they finally called me up - my classmate quit the job. and so, i was 'the replacement', the 'spare tyre', the second choice. =.= !@#$% yet again. always known as somebody's someone, or for someone..

well anyhow, after less than half an hour of learning how i should work around, i started marking endless worksheets of ~~primary~~, no, kindy maths.. the sums we'rent even multiplication ones.. and each worksheet are repetition and different sequences of additional sums of a certain number.. and the unmarked work just kept piling up on my table.. the work gets more 'challenging' when the lil kids start coming in as soon as the clock turns 10:30 am. that's when you really start to multitask - monitor one child as she does her maths while teaching another child to read and write while marking some child's homework and recording it and at the same time too, rushing to mark some other child's work for today so that they can do their corrections and then go home. worse of all is when the parents of the child are there to pick them up when the child havent even finish half of the days' worksheet.. the marking never seem to stop even till you start having problems calculating sums like 2+3 or 6+7, and that's when your brain cells starts to go into kamikaze mode.. i didnt even have time to go to the toilet.. haha.. never in my life have i ever done so many basic calculations in half a day.. believe me, it's tiring and drains your energy.. i was already starving after 2 hours since i had nasi lemak for breakfast.. the good side is that they provided meals.. and the kids are really cute.. =)

till then, hope this outta keep me busy..

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007!

2007-01-01T14:13:00.000+08:00

in just a bilnk of an eye, year 2006 has come to an end and here comes a new beginning to year 2007..
looking back at how 2006 was for me, i think i have no regrets to the many things i have and have not done or what-so-ever.. all the ups and downs throughout the past year indeed put more colours into my life.. unlike all the other years of my life, not that i didnt enjoy the past years, but i guess like what people say, form 6 helps you to build character and mature.. i hope i did.. haha.. i now realise how important friendships are, how your best budds and true friends would always be there to lend a helping hand =) never take them for granted and cut them off when someone new appears.. NEVER.. it's not worth it lol.. thanks gals for always being here fo me =) *HUGS*

well, may this new year brings loads of new stuff! let bygones be bygones, forget about the past and look forward to the future...
new year's resolution = have FUN and be HAPPY!! =)

few pics of new year's eve celebration..

waiting in sonia dear's car for the others to arrive and also trying to glue my broken heel straps together.. =.= swoi..

enjoying the seaside breeze : sonia and me

ann and sonia

yours truly.. relaxing on the swing outside Momo.. i luv swings! =)

kah yin and me..

guess who's back? lol.. ian boy and i

inside: varsha, ming, sonia, ann & me!

we weren't drunk if you think so, i was way more sober than the two of them..lol.. sonia fell on me and i lost balance off the couch.. hence, that face.. but i like the pic =)

well then, that was my new year's eve nite. a nite well spent with my budds =) oh well, i'm too lazy to blog anymore.. bite me. haha..

toddles

random chat out of boredom..

2006-12-25T22:38:00.000+08:00

i just realised, chinese songs are very meaningful.. the way each word of the song conveys certain messages.. just so wonderful.. the lyrics are able to show and explain the feelings and meanings of each situation so clearly.. the few artist that i love listening to are Guang Liang and David Tao.. great composers of songs i can really relate to.. yes, sappy, depressing or just plain romantic.. my kinda thing.. lol

IF ONLY some tall, dark & handsome dude sings me one of those songs and truly means every single word.. ahh.. *melts*

i'm on a 'melting-spree'.. treat me well and care enough for me and i'll probably melt over you.. haha.. though that only applies for people whom i consider good looking.. hehee

i'm bored.. bah..

oh uh

2006-12-25T17:39:00.000+08:00

well, my baby bailey didnt arrive on Christmas, but instead, an unexpected baby popped out for Christmas..

my baby st. bernard .. =)
muah!

wait till i show u how my baby doggie licks your screen through the webcam *grins*

*melts*

on the other hand, christmas eve was erm.. pretty much fun in the beginning.. till everything turn fuzzy and my eyelids started to get heavy.. (not mascara fault.. haha) well, something new not like the annual, go-to-gurney-for-countdown-thingy.. but still, *melts*

shit.. so what am i melting at.. bummer..

hope this brings some change or something better.. =)

Merry Christmas!!!

2006-12-19T17:05:00.000+08:00

the past few days have been so so tiring.. bad news just keep pouring out day by day.. everyday brings something bad.. from the moment i open my eyes till i close them at the end of the day.. it's like a drama series, a never-ending chain of bad events.. sigh

everything's so different now.. so mellow, so gloomy, so secretive, so lost, so uncertain..
there's a cantonese saying that says that, both sides of your palms are your own flesh.. you don't know which side you should side or help.. but how am i to deal and help others when i cant help myself? bummer..

love isn't a form of investment. it isnt like playing shares in the share market. whereby, the more you invest, the more returns you receive. but love isn't like this. you don't invest or sacrifice your time, money, strength and anything just to get what you want. that's just being self-centered and greedy. love's about giving and receiving willingly from the heart, not about how much you've sacrifice just to receive an equal return. if it's real love to begin with, everything will suffice.

it's just my point of view.

everything's getting clearer.. i'm back to my own reality.. i'm giving up on any hopes in such matters.

may tomorrow brings something better.

my chan mari chan

2006-12-17T03:23:00.000+08:00

can't sleep.. eileen dear's leaving on monday morning.. sigh. just wonder when i'll ever see her again after tomorrow.. will miss u dear.. all the fun times we all shared in form 6 were priceless.. i will never ever forget that very moment of you supporting me through my toughest time - assuring and comforting me regardless of the few curious stares of us all squatting in the girls' toilet.. it was probably your first time seeing me in such helpless state.. this incident never fails to remind me of the many great and supportive friends i have.. what i call true friends.. but as you now go through your toughest time, i feel so helpless for not knowing how to support you like what you've done for me..
i just really hope and pray that all goes well for you.. take good care of yourself..

luv ya...

people walk in and out of our lives and what's left are footprints in our hearts..

on another hand,
so am i stepping back in again? i don't know.. everyone says i should know what i'm doing.. do i? let's just not worry about the future but appreciate and cherish the present..

time to sleep..

nites peeps.. =)

urgh..

2006-12-16T01:24:00.000+08:00

think i'm having a toothache for the past 2 days.. probably cos of my wisdom tooth.. urgh.. the pain is so uncomfortable.. my jaw feels swollen and out of place.. i feel like i need someone to give me a good punch on the left side of my jaw to take the pain away..

argh.. this feels worse than my usual period cramps..

ARGHHH!!!!

i need pain killers..

someone please punch me in the jaw.. lol

it's a world out there

2006-12-13T01:10:00.000+08:00

been doing some thinking today..
it really scares me to see how selfish, unpredictable and apathetic humans can be..
i've been receiving news of friends going through hard times and it really dampens every chance of hope there is.. i always try to look on the brighter side, taking my friends as examples, believing that there is still hope out there. but in the end, it's still the same.. why do guys have an attention span shorter than of a fish?

someone once told me that we shouldnt always expect and see every relationship come to an end of breaking up. if you've decided to go into a relationship, you'll have to see it to the very end.. i was impressed and did totally changed my thinking and concept of the matter.. looking ahead with a glimpse of hope still existing out there.. nevertheless, words are just words.. i'm back to how i see every relationship and will stand firm on it.. there's no way of not seeing a relationship ending.. humans are unpredictable, nothing's certain.. when there's a start, there will definitely be an end.. it's just a matter of how long you can hold on.

what we see and experience now is just a fragment of what the world is out there. the world is actually a scary place after all..

if i'm just as optimistic and strong-willed as some of my friends.. if..

i'm thinking too much that it scares me.

All Good Things Come to An End

2006-12-11T00:31:00.000+08:00

Honestly what will become of me
Don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is dandy
We are what we don't see
Miss everything daydreaming

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end

Traveling I always stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end

Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon
soon so that they could die

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end

When the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day
Til the feeling went away

And the sky was falling and the clouds were dropping
And the rainfall forgot how to bring salvation
The dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune hoping it would come soon
So that they could die

Nelly Furtado's new album, Loose, is making way in my list of good music.. never expected her to write good music like this since her first hit, I'm Like A Bird..

sigh. boredom's killing me.. seriously, it is.. being bored is the worse thing that can happen to me.. having nothing to do just sucks.. all i did was just sleep, eat, play cs, sleep, go to the arcades and sleep summore.. then there's these depressing dreams of mine.. sigh. like sonia dear said, at times like these, i really need some booze.. haha..

till then, let's look forward to wednesday nite!

finally

2006-12-07T12:35:00.000+08:00

yes, the nerve-wrecking, fingernail-biting, torment of STPM is finally over.. and here i am sitting in front of the computer blogging without any plans and a bloody sore throat.. i know, it's plain pathetic.. but the others just couldnt agree on any plans and yet have no other suggestions.. plus, no one was really keen at participating in the discussion.. just waiting for the plans.. thank goodness the 5Sc1 of MGS year 2004 was MUCH better.. everyone wasnt listening and seems to be in a world of their own.. communication failure.. yes, the blame's on the exams.. moreover, screaming with a nearly cured cough doesnt work.. hence, the growing sexy voice of mine now.. bah! i give up..

i just realized, i am not alone.. sorta.. other people do go through what i'm going through, or goes through the same emotions that i'm in.. but what i can say is, be thankful and appreciated what you have now, as much as we all hate changes, we just have to get use to it.. though thinking of it is depressing, think of the brighter side.. at least you still have the chance to compromise and work things out to lessen the worries and sadness and definitely still have the chance to be happy and go through times like before.. unlike Exhibit A, me. it's still depressing especially relating other people's stories and feelings to your own.. oh well, what will happen, will soon happen.. it just depends on the choices you make.. so make wise ones..

bah.. anyway, let's just kill time.. =)

Part 1:On the Outside
Name : Amy Fong Yoke May
Date of Birth : 7th May '87
Current Status : single. bah!
Eye Colour : dark brown
Righty or Lefty : righty
Zodiac Sign : the raging bull - taurus

Part 2:On the Inside
Your Heritage : Cantonese
Your Fear : from heights to snakes
Your Weakness : countless
Your Perfect Pizza : pepperoni!

Part 3:Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up : it's another day..
Your bedtime : from 12-5am?
Your most missed memory : currently, my recent lost memories.

4:Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke : Pepsi
McDees or Burger King : Burger King
Single or Group Dates : group
Adidas or Nike : no-money
Lipton Tea or Nestea : Lipton Iced Lemon Tea
Chocolate or Vanilla : both?
Cappucino or Coffee : Cappucino

Part 5:Do You...
Smoke : nopsie
Curse : yes.

Part 6:In the Past Month
Drank alcohol : yupsie
Gone to the mall : not to Queensbay though
Been on stage : don't think so
Eaten sushi : ouh YES!
Dyed your hair : yup.. gonna dye soon as well!

Part 7:Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game : haha.. nopsie.. sounds interesting.. LOL
Changed who you were to fit in : what for?

Part 8
Age you're hoping to be married : see first.

Part 9:In A Guy/Girl
BestEye colour : dun care
Hair colour : dun care
Short or long hair : doesnt matter

Part 10:What Were You Doing?
1 minute ago : this?
1 hour ago : trying to have an unfruitful discussion
1/2 hours ago : was still stuck in that discussion
1 month ago : freaking STPM
1 year ago : had fun in lower 6.. fun no more.. bah!

Part 11:Finish The Sentence
I love : people who loves me
I feel : dead bored and disappointed
I hate : changes, decisions, loosing things etc.
I hide : and seek
I miss : bah!
I need : money.

Part 12:Tag 5 People
anyone.

i'm going to sleep. =.=

was i the one on the phone or the one in the next room?

2006-12-04T00:04:00.000+08:00

Lips of An Angel - Hinder

Honey why you callin me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why you cryin
Is everything ok
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud

Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice
Sayin my name
It sounds so sweet
Comin from the lips of an angel
Hearin those words
It makes me weak

And I
Never want to say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're callin me tonight
And yes I dreamt of you too
Does he know your talkin' to me?
Will it start a fight?
No, I don't think she has a clue

Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice
Sayin my name
It sounds so sweet
Comin from the lips of an angel
Hearin those words
It makes me weak

And I
Never want to say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Honey why you callin me so late?

something very mind-boggling but i shall not make it puzzle me for long..

i need more money to shop for myself... it's the best cure =)
i lurve that black off-shoulders top... =(
i really need more money..
anyone willing to spend on me? pretty please with caramel coated on top? wahahahaha~!!!

sigh.

2006-12-01T00:56:00.000+08:00

was at jen's blog.. heard the music playing on the page - End of The Road by Boyz II Men
pretty old song.. havent heard of it for ages.. never did really took notice of the lyrics until this year when i got the habit from someone..

bah..

few lines i like..

"Why do you play with my heart?
Why do you play with my mind?
Said we'd be forever
Said it'd never die
How could you love me and leave me"

"Although we've come to the end of the road,
Still I can't let go"

"Will you, just come back to me
Yes baby my heart is lonely
My heart hurts baby
I feel pain too
Baby please"

this is getting harder than i thought..

2006-11-30T17:50:00.000+08:00

shit.

!@#$%^*

i've to wait till next week.

2006-11-27T11:14:00.000+08:00

it wasn't love after all i guess
another one-sided one perhaps
may this burden be off your shoulders
and there'll be no more regrets

mind my self-comforting for there's no turning back or we'll just be going round in circles again..
even more rounds than going round the roundabout.
this time, it'll really be over soon, soon.

2006-11-26T23:29:00.000+08:00

amy - unpredictable, emotionally unstable, hates decision and changes, hopeless when it comes to feelings, thinks with her heart but not her head, a cry-baby, can be very bitchy, vulgar and sarcastic but ends up surrendering to her emotions, shallow headed, acts before thinking, may think too much at times, paranoid, have no stand, cares too much, may be too dependent when she's found someone to depend on other than that, independent enough to survive, lets music controls her emotions

a girl not meant to own the very things in life she truly loves but will stay strong to go against the odds and have what she deserves.

2006-11-26T23:01:00.000+08:00

humans are unpredictable and unstable beings..

i've come so far, finally getting hold of myself and having a stand. i cannot let these feelings overcome me and pull me back again. it's over. long over.

guess i need time to adjust to changes for good.

sigh.

2006-11-25T15:05:00.000+08:00

came across this line in some blogger's profile,

"behind every bitch, there's a guy who made her that way"

oh so true.. =)

simple calculations

2006-11-24T02:02:00.000+08:00

let's talk about maths..

i) if 9.9 out of 10 are shit, so how many percentage of shit are there?

% of shit = 9.9/10 X 100% = 99%

ii) so how many shit are out there of an approximation of 3229700?

approx. no. of shit = 99/100 X 3229700 = 3197403

iii) what is the ratio of 13090 to the approximation of 3229700?

ratio = 13090/3197403 = 1 : 244.2630 (to 4 d.p)

iv) determine the number of shit contributed from the number of 13090 here.

no. of shit contributed = 3197403/244.2630 X 1 = 13090.0014 (to 4 d.p.)

v) therefore, find the percentage of shit in the number of 13090 out here.

% of shits = 13090.0014/13090 X 100% = 100.0000% (to 4 d.p.)

(got my numbers from the statistics of EarthTrends)

gosh, if my first paper of maths was this interesting, i wouldnt stop calculating.. =)

quote of the day : "stick your head in the sand and think about your future" - 'M'

maths = die = DIE!!!

2006-11-18T09:37:00.000+08:00

open relationships are just like fun packages, feelings aren't included.. it's all about having fun, that's all..

another one soon-to-be-satisfied customer here..

whee~!

okay.. i'm talking trash(or so)... it's 2 days away from freaking STPM!!!! *freaks out*

sigh.

the girl who always puts sense into me

2006-11-12T22:59:00.000+08:00

what am i to do without you girl?

i'll probably end up like some squashed fermented vegetable (kim chee?)

i wouldn't say you're mean, i need someone to be stern and knock sense into me, cos i've got problems thinking with my head but rather with my heart.. and that's what that counts.. as long as i can get up on my feet and see the big picture, being direct and well, what you would say 'mean' (though i don't think so) is worth it.. and i know you're doing it for my own good and you care..

i don't want to look at myself 40 years down the road, cleaning toilets because of this.. and yes, it's not worth it.. i will not let anyone ruin my future, not even myself..

thank you so much nian, ann and the rest.. all of you =)

muah!

2006-11-11T22:43:00.000+08:00

why aren't there beverages in the fridge when u need them badly??!

sigh...

daddy didn't buy more heneiken.. =.=

daddy loves rum, vodka and bacardi.. amy girl is also gonna have a collection of her own =)
like father like daughter. .

aAhcHUuu

2006-11-11T20:15:00.000+08:00

is it me or people keep talking behind my back nowadays? lol

i've been sneezing every now and then, something very abnormal for me..

my nose feels out of place.. =.=

well, on the other hand, i've got myself settled down after that alarming attack..
finally found where the 'panic' button is, only a week before.. a bit late aint it? sigh.

so while i'm still calm, bear with my random talk..
aint no one i can talk nonsense, gossips and just basically talk my heart out anymore.. oh well, i have been talking to my blog for 2 years, am just going back to where i am - back to being just me =) anyway, found some really cute emoticons online.. though i don't think the me, 2 years ago would actually consider them 'cute' but instead "yer.. mushy.." but heck, it aint wrong rite?

You can't blame gravity for falling in love. -Albert Einstein-

yea.. words from the genius himself.. and don't get me wrong, i'm not falling in love again.. don't want to.. maybe not just yet =)

am listening to You Give Me Something by James Morrison. this song just somehow gives me a sweet feeling, makes me sigh with a smile on my face.. i know, silly.. lol
but it aint that bad anymore thinking of the good memories once in a while.. =)

*HUGS*

p/s: guess what i found ---> =)

stuuuudddyyyyyyyyyy..

sigh.

2006-11-11T17:20:00.000+08:00

stress...

unexpected

2006-11-10T19:09:00.000+08:00

things usually happens when you least expected it..

may it be good or bad, we can never tell what will happen in the future..

life's unpredictable.. you'll never know when the next turning point of your life will come..

appreciate the things around and do everything whole heartedly and have no regrets.

sigh..

stay strong eileen, we all believe you can do it =)

Ungu - Seperti Yang Dulu

2006-11-10T01:06:00.000+08:00

Tiada guna kau kembali
Mengisi ruang hati ini
Semuanya telah berlalu
Bersama lukaku

Semua yang telah berlalu
Antara hatiku dan hatimu
Takkan ada cinta
Seperti yang dulu

Tiada guna kau berjanji
Untuk setia menemani
Hatiku yang telah terluka
Karena dustamu

Semua yang telah berakhir
Antara diriku dan dirimu
Takkan ada yang rindu
Seperti Yang dulu

help

2006-11-09T18:16:00.000+08:00

someone please take me to a place where i can shout my lungs out and cry my heart out till my heart's content. and hopefully may there be no more.

i cannot take this anymore.

i need a place..

2006-11-09T10:43:00.000+08:00

TO STUDY!!!

the library at my place's packed with people! even just 45 minutes since the moment the library opened this morning.. and i thought i was early enough to get a place.. =.=" so am i suppose to wake up super duper early, get prepared, and wait outside the gates till it opens?

*grumble*

i had already wasted 2 days in bed.. no more..

my other friends who came late as well, ended up going to some temple to study.. er.. not a place for me though... there's another option, i can try sitting in kfc at island... it's probably quiet there since hardly anyone goes there.. BUT KOKO WANTS TO USE THE CAR! urgh.. what about me?
I WANT A CAR!!

*grumble grumble*

so here i am stuck at home again, in front of the computer, grumbling away..

*grumble grumble grumble*

groggy and weak

2006-11-08T23:50:00.000+08:00

finally, it's my turn to fall sick
but you aint here to care anyway

nevermind, i shall have happy tree friends to entertain me

2006-11-07T22:51:00.000+08:00

what did i do wrong to you???

my funeral wake

2006-11-07T21:41:00.000+08:00

i can't stay at home.
my house's like a funeral parlour, an overwhelming feeling of sadness surrounds me the moment i step back into the house..

i don't want to be home..

sometimes, no, ever since i was young, i have always wished that i suffer from some fatal sickness in hopes that i would get the attention and care i need..
and if i get into an accident, i'll be able to feel what really hurts more, and not let the other hurt get to me. i just wish these headaches each time i cry too hard be something serious.

humans are just unsatisfied, ungrateful beings.

i think i'm psychotic.

anyway, thanks ann for providing shelter for this aimless girl..
and letting me tease ur 'Little Dudu' aka 'Bloo'.. =)
i'll have to wait for someone else to get me my perfect bear, hopefully..

so where to next?

i can't study.

why do i put myself through this? why i ask myself, why.

doomsday countdown

2006-11-06T11:13:00.000+08:00

14 more days...

i've been having freakishly weird WERID dreams these days..

first is, okay.. i dare not mention.. it's basically weird.. *shivers*

next was me, totally not prepared for my general paper and was frantically searching for my notes in the MGS auditorium (?) while the paper was about to start... what the....

and what more, last night's dream was not being able to complete my business paper because i didn't know how to do 80% of the paper and i lost some of my answer scripts!!

the stpm is really getting into me..

2 MORE WEEKS!!!!

aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

i really hope those dreams will NOT come true.. or else that'll really be the end of me!!!

*freaking out freaking out freaking out*

spm wasn't even this scaryyy..

AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

i don't want to have any of those bad dreams for my economics and maths paper thought i think the latter has a higher chance of having the same fate on the real day of examination!!

SSHHHYYYIIEEETTT!!!!

gotta go study!!!

tagged

2006-11-03T22:35:00.000+08:00

thanks for taggin me jen, at least i've got something to occupy myself for now.. =)
here goes...

Four things not many people know about me:
1. i never throw things which means a lot and contributes to my memories in life
2. i may get depressed to the point of suicidal.. i dunno
3. i'm TOO attached
4. i'd probably live together with my bf in the future when everything's steady (eg. career)

Four movies i could watch over and over:
1. A Walk to Remember
2. Just Like Heaven
3. Lake House
4. Initial D

Four places i've lived:
1. Penang
2. Penang
3. Penang
4. Penang

Four TV shows i love to watch:
1. House MD
2. CSI
3. America's Next Top Model
4. Project Runway

Four places i've been on vacation:
1. Hong Kong
2. Singapore
3. Bali
4. Thailand

Four of my Favourite food:
1. Japanese
2. Hawker food
3. Western
4. Chinese

Four places I'd rather be:
1. the psychiatric ward
2. somewhere else
3. the beach
4. in your arms

Four favourite songs:
1. depends
2. on
3. my
4. mood

Four people I tag:
1. Nian
2. Ann
3. CL
4. anyone

2006-11-03T22:13:00.000+08:00

at times, i just feel like seeing my baby burn in the fire. let every fiber and effort i put into making it turn into ashes. then again, i just don't have the heart to do it.. and here i still have it right with me.

i made up my own world, guess it wasn't as mutual as i thought. so delusional

i made my own sufferings, i just tend to hurt myself

if i could just bottle down dad's new Absolut Vodka and sleep the whole night through.

just tired. 19 years is enough, or is it not?

when stupidity kicks in

2006-11-03T18:05:00.000+08:00

oh great!

i practically spoiled my day.. there goes my friday, pfft.. well, at least i can get more sleep and just relax.. yea, when it's just 17 days away from stpm.. heck, i've got no mood to study anyway so don't bug me.

i'm one heck of a thick-headed emotional dimwit who never learns from mistakes, plus, i've got no sense of sight.. i can't differentiate between black and white, something even a colour blind person or animals can do so.. i can't see what's already there, but tend to see and expect something that isn't there.. aahh.. i'm hallucinating, my life's just a dream. it aint real. STOP expecting, i'm no princess, no one's ever gonna please me, accept the fact dumb girl. please yourself and not others cos it's a selfish world out there, something i must learn.

people never fail to make me a stronger and harder person.. sometimes i think i should be a lawyer, working for the Women's Health Organization.. fighting and defending every women's rights against the damned deceptive cruel world of the men community..

LMKNNKKKLMCCB!

(ah, that feels better, i hope someone creates an on9 AI which can be my scapegoat and suffer the fury of my anger, that'll be perfect.. damn my foul mouth but that's the only way i'm able to release the frustration, disappointment and stress building up in me.. no hard feelings, just speaking my mind.)

MY 'statement'

2006-11-03T12:54:00.000+08:00

i'm stating this in general..

I dislike people who:

don't mean what they say - uh huh.. yada yada yap yap yap.. oh please, don't tell me you're one of those members of NATO -No Action Talk Only??
don't take me seriously - so you're saying this for real or just because i'm dumb and gullible?
take me for granted - just because i'm nice, doesnt mean you can climb on my head and perform your rain dance..
don't have respect for Sir Isaac Newton - do you need me to get a watch for you? for goodness sake, respect that dead philosopher's views on time.. plus learn up the word 'punctuality' and have it in your vocab, for good.
don't live up to most of their promises - if you can't keep 'em, then don't make 'em

*grumble grumble grumble* !@#$%...

i'll give myself 2 more hours to fret and spoil my mood for the day..

have a nice day,
thank you. =)

Bon Appétit

2006-11-01T19:11:00.000+08:00

dried brains and pickled eyes topped with milk gravy and crispy golden brown neurons..

anyone care for a helping?

gosh, today's been so tiring.. nearly drained my brains till it's all wrinkled up like a prune.. but glad that i finished studying the whole business book of mine.. guess today's considered productive? i do hope so.. there's 19 more days left before my first paper starts.. *shivers* time really flies.. and it seems that i just enrolled into MBS yesterday.. *sigh* all those wonderful fun-filled times in lower 6, so carefree and just so enjoyable =) bah..

oh well, tomorrow will be another day at the library.

till then, study hard peeps! it's your future..

just some random info..

southern US actually sells canned pork brain in gravy?? which is often fried with scrambled eggs to produce the famous "Eggs n' Brains".. ewww..

guess i'll be trying some when my brains start to leak out from my ears... lol..

incoming baby!

2006-10-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

i'm gonna get a new baby for christmas!!

NO, i'm NOT gettting pregnant, besides, it's impossible to have a newborn in 2 months time.. LOL, even so, heck no..

anyway, my new baby's gonna be named, baby Bailey! and she's coming in this christmas!

yes, i exploited someone to get me my baby Bailey.. muahahaha~!

can't wait!

BAILEYS BAILEYS BAILEYS~!

come to mama and i'll shower you with unconditional love.. =)

baby tv baby

2006-10-28T21:27:00.000+08:00

i saw my baby on tv today!!!!!! =)

NO, astro's not having some futuristic promotional program that shows you how your 'lil kid might turn out in the future.. i DID NOT see 'lil amys' or 'lil "(insert future husband's english name here)"s crying or crawling around my television.. neither does my home tv posses magical powers of predicting the future, though it's new.. got it from just any other ordinary electrical shop, NOT from outerspace..

heck NO, i WAS NOT pregnant for the past 9 months or so.. i was never pregnant.. lol.. and therefore, it wasn't my child that i saw on tv, if that's what you refer 'baby' as...

and NO, neither was it my beloved bike nor my dearest pillow or faithful shuffle aired on tv.. though 3 of 'em are my 'babies', this baby's made of bones, flesh and skin with blood flowing through his body at the right temperature of 37°C...

and may i remind you that it isn't the sukma season now.. and i don't think the american inter-Uni, or what-so-ever sports will be shown on tv, i don't have the sports package on astro anyway.. so it aint YK! lol.. though i did catch a few glimpse of him laaast time on tv.. LOL.. he aint my baby anyway, he was.. urm.. i dunno.. HAHAAA

so, who did i saw on tv?

none other than,

JAY baby..

*drools*.. lol.. now i remember why i have his face plastered up on my room door.. =)
just saw him on tv, winning the best newcomer award for acting in InitialD... gosh, he looks so drop-dead-gorgeous.. lol.. plus the fine grown mustache and goatee he's got now.. ahh~! *melts* i want my future husband to look like that, if not, my son will do too.. LOL..
okayyy, *snap snap*.. that's a lil bit too ridiculous.. =P

enough crap..

hmm, getting a lil bit bored of studying now.. been in the library for 3 days straight since it opened after raya.. it's getting pretty packed with other kids, mainly those sitting for spm.. getting harder to concentrate too.. and i'll be continuing this routine for 3 more weeks.. i might as well move my room into the library.. =.= the children's library, my second home.. LOL..

anyway, my ankle's sprained again... sorta.. old injuries just dont go away.. now i can't run.. T_T my left side is just so feeble.. i think i might just be paralyzed on the left side of my body when i'm all old and wrinkled up.. *choi choi choi* *touch wood* lol..
i want robotic arms and legs... wahaha..

silly..

till then,

LOADS of luck and all the very best to ann and jen in their upcoming finals!

next on the list will be nian and sonia,

then ME!

*HUGS*

2006-10-28T11:46:00.000+08:00

the worst thing to do at the start of a day is to read blogs..
you read about other people's sorrows and pain and then you'll think about your own..
reminiscing of all that went by just like that
where the last full-stop for joy and happiness came
while the pain just goes on..
as i shed and i remember once again
the only day when hope gave a new meaning to my life.
guess it's just not meant to be
but just one moment more..
to be in your arms once again,
is all i ask of.

Waiting On An Angel - Ben Harper

2006-10-27T21:21:00.000+08:00

Waiting on an angel
one to carry me home
hope you come to see me soon
cause I don't want to go alone
I don't want to go alone

Now angel won't you come by me
angel hear my plea
take my hand lift me up
so that I can fly with thee
so that I can fly with thee

And I'm waiting on an angel
and I know it won't be long
to find myself a resting place
in my angel's arms
in my angel's arms

So speak kind to a stranger
cause you'll never know
it just might be an angel come
knockin' at your door
knockin' at your door

And I'm waiting on an angel
and I know it won't be long
to find myself a resting place
in my angel's arms
in my angel's arms

Waiting on an angel
one to carry me home
hope you come to see me soon
cause I don't want to go alone
I don't want to go alone

don't want to go
I don't want to go alone

to have dreams to look forward to or to crush every false hope one by one even before i can dream,

it's a choice i have to make.

hug?

2006-10-26T22:14:00.000+08:00

1.whose picture is it that you keep in ur wallet?
aint any.. my pocket's my wallet..

2. wat time do you go to bed?
depends.. when i'm sleepy and not too lazy to go to bed i guess..

3. What's on your mind just now?
whatever that's on my mind now.. hence, this questionnaire.. *sigh*

4. what was the latest movie you saw?
open season..

5. when was the last time you went out?
just this evening?

6. what do you hate the most for now?
i hate feeling down.. T_T

7. what things you want to do now?
i want hugs........ hug?

8. what do you do everyday besides eat and sleep?
er.. study? and just lazying around..

9. talked on the phone just to say good night?
not anymore..

10. miss someone?
i want a hug...

11. are you a coffee addict?
nope..

12. are you satisfied with your life now?
better than not having a life rite?

13. will you share a glass of water with a friend?
i guess not with any ordinary friend..

14. last person you said goodbye to?
him..

15. ever had a food fight?
last year during yuin er's bday at McD.. =)

16. what do you usually eat for breakfast?
air.. lol.. sometimes a cup of milo..

17. Lost a friendship over something?
i dun think so..

19. Can you remember what you did on the first day in your school/college?
not really.. bad memory..

20. who's on ur mind?
i want a hug.. badly.. =(

22. how's your heart lately?
mending on its' own..

23. Reminds you of ur 1st love?
remind me not to do another survey done by erica...

24. ever had a crush on a teacher?
noOoo.. never..

25. things u need everyday?
???

it'll pass... =)

a 'pirated' post...

2006-10-24T16:20:00.000+08:00

got this off from nian's blog..

sorry nian for the cetak rompak.. lol
cant help but to re-post it.. =P

When we meet the right person to love when we're at the right place at the right time,
That's chance.

When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's not a choice.
That's chance.

Being caught up in a moment (and there's a lot of couples who get together because of this) is not a choice.
That's also a chance.

The difference is what happens afterwards. When will you take that infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction to the next level?

That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and contemplate whether you want to make this into a concrete relationship or just a fling.

If you decide to love a person, even with his faults, that's not a chance.
That's choice.

When you choose to be with a person, no matter what,
That's choice.

Even if you know there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, and richer than your mate, and yet, you decide to love your mate just the same,
That's choice.

Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by chance.

But true love that lasts is truly a choice.

A choice that we make.

Regarding soul mates, there's a beautiful movie quote that I believe is so true about this: " Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen."

I do believe that soul mates do exist.

That there is truly someone made for you. But it's still up to you to make the choice if you're going to do something about it or not.

We may meet our soul mates by chance, but loving and staying with our soul mates is still a choice we have to make.

We came to the world not by finding someone perfect to love...

BUT to learn how to love an imperfect person perfectly.

nianz.blogspot.com

whee.. nian's really growing up more each day.. =)

guess it's time i stop regretting over choices made or not, but instead look out for the so many other chances around and hopefully make a good choice in the future..

heads up, the world aint that bad.. =)

*HUGS*

2006-10-22T19:08:00.000+08:00

am in need of hugs... =(

seriously.. desperately.. really... in need of HUGS!

anyone giving free hugs in penang?? lol..

*HUGS* *HUGS* *HUGS* *HUGS* *HUGS*

*HUGS* *HUGS* *HUGS* *HUGS*

2006-10-22T03:10:00.000+08:00

it's been 2 days, i left my books lying there on the table.. putting my revision to a halt, taking the excuse of giving myself some time to rest..

i'm back to my routine again.. sleeping in the day and start staring at my ceiling or gazing out the window by night..
it's as if i went back in time, more than deja-vu, i'm doing it again.
everything's the same.. it's dark and cool outside, just like before.. only that it's raining on the outside this time.. the same heavy feeling can still be felt as if it happened yesterday..
i just gaze upon the night sky, thinking of the same thoughts of the other night, listening to the very same songs that was played before.. i just sat there. unknowingly, hours pass like minutes.. in fact, it's been 4 months since that very night. i'm re-living that very first night of my crushed hopes.

i tried distracting myself by rebuilding and reconnecting the one friendship that was left hanging before this.. the bond's there, but the feeling has long faded already..
still, nothing can replace what i've lost, for now.

i would not let this continue to myself. this will have to be the last time i go through that night again.
the last night i'll ever sit and gaze out of my window.

yet in the end, it still rained on the inside...

i miss you.

the power of HUGS

2006-10-20T11:32:00.000+08:00

was at ann's blog.. watched the video she posted up..
damn right that it's touching..
and now i feel like getting a hug... *sigh*
everyone needs a hug every now and then..
how i wish too that someone out here where i am is giving free hugs.. i would definitely go get a hug everyday.. =)

*HUGS*

luv the song too..

All The Same - Sick Puppies

I don't mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
I don't like illusions I can't see
Them clearly
I don't care no I wouldn't dare
To fix the twist in you
You've shown me eventually

What you'll do

I don't mind...
I don't care...
As long as you're here

Go ahead tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same

Hours slide and days go by
Till you decide to come
And in between it always seems too long
All of a sudden
And I have the skill, yeah I have the will
To breathe you in while I can
However long you stay
Is all that I am

I don't mind...
I don't care...
As long as you're here

Wrong or right
Black or white
If I close my eyes
It's all the same

In my life
The compromise
I close my eyes
It's all the same

walking on

2006-10-16T14:01:00.000+08:00

it's hard to learn to take the first step yourself
babies struggle hard to balance and take their first steps
the first few steps always end in falls
but they have support, their parents are there to guide and to help them
slowly step by step, the baby soon learn to walk
once they start to walk, they will not crawl anymore.

if i hadn't learn to love and find happiness, it wouldnt be so hard now
i won't have to fall back in fear, i would have continued walking on just as i was

but life isn't about 'what if's and 'maybe's.. what's done has been done
it's just a long road to walk on whether you like it or not.

keep walking.

the 100m mark

2006-10-14T23:34:00.000+08:00

1.who's the last person in ur inbox?
Mervin

2. sport you did last?
cycling?

3. last movie you watched?
World Trade Centre.. cried like a baby, as usual..

4. what do people first notice when they meet you?
they notice me?

5. do you like peanut-butter?
creamy

6. do you read comics?
manga too

7. how pretty/handsome is your crush?
i don't crush people, i torture them..

8. do you like earthquakes?
you kidding me?

9. worst nightmare?
am still rating 'em.. more keeps coming every nite..

10. favorite coffee place?
anywhere with ice-blended ones

11. wanna be happy?
D-U-H..

12. your current school close friends?
mgsians are still the best..

13. most people would describe me as:
plain amy

14. one thing you hate about yourself:
myself

15. vegetable/s you hate?
i'm no vege-hater

16. do you like to go out on shopping trips?
if i actually have such chances..

17. favorite person in the world?
what a childish question..

18. can you act?
yes, only in crying scenes not forgetting puking scenes as well..

19. favorite past-time?
anything that kills time

20. are you happy?
you can't tell?

21. what is the worst rumor you've heard?
i can't remember

22. what time is it now?
11.40pm

23. first thing you do when you wake up?
hug my garfield and kiss my baby pillow..

24. where are you right now?
at home in front of the computer?

25. what are the things you like to do now?
anything to kill time

26. are you ok now?
better now..

27. how many drinks before you get really drunk?
don't know yet..

28. which of the foreign actors/actress do you like right now?
none..

29. what is love to you?
a game

30. are u missing someone? who?
irrelevant..

guess that's the end.. parents back..
now i gotta think of something else to do.. shit.

time-killing marathon

2006-10-14T22:56:00.000+08:00

1. what do you do when you're mad?
i curse, i shout, i throw a rampage.. scared yet?

2. what's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?
i cursed right at his face and felt really bad about it

3. ever made anyone cry when you were mad?
i don't know

4. ever physically hurt someone when you were mad?
i whack people even when i'm sane and happy.

5. do you curse when you're mad?
never failed to

6. last time you cried your heart out?
recently

7. ever cried yourself to sleep?
so much so that i've stopped

8. ever cried on your friend's shoulder?
i always did.. but recently had to do it over the phone..

9. do you cry when you get an injury?
depends on how bad it is

10. do certain songs make you cry?
i'm emotionally unstable, so sue me.

11. what's the worst thing you've done to somebody else?
curse at him in the face?

12. how depressed can you get?
maybe not till suicidal

13. how much do u smile?
i don't know. i wish i can never stop smiling.

14. what can make you happy?
from the very simple things of sugary stuff to that one person

15. do you wish you were happier?
never stopped wishing.

16. what about being with your friends, does that make u happy?
my best buds? of course.. they never fail to make me laugh and take the load off me.. =)

17. have you ever loved someone so much, that you'd die for them?
i don't know.. never had the chance to

18. did you ever love a person, and tell him/her that you love him/her?
used to.. but in the end, words are just words.

19. have you loved someone so much, it made you cry?
it never failed to do so

20. has anyone besides your friends and family ever said 'i love you' to you?
someone used to..

21. have you ever hated anyone that broke your heart?
i used to hate ZS, i used to hate Ian.. but i dun hate them anymore

22. do you hate Bush?
i don't give 2 cents about that chimp

23. is your self-esteem extremely low?
low, but i don't think it's that extremely low or i would have been receiving therapy already..

24. do you believe in yourself?
i'm learning to.. there's no one else to believe in... 'everyone lies', just like what Greg House says.

25. what do you say when people say they think you are good looking/pretty?
i'd just laugh and say no

26. are you one of those idiots that think they are ugly, dumb, and fat?
yes, i'm an idiot

27. ever wanted to kill yourself cuz you thought you weren't good enough?
heck no, though i know i'm not gonna be good enough, it aint worth my life.

28. are you happy with who you are?
maybe. at times.

2006-10-14T21:50:00.000+08:00

i'm doing fine..
i can go through this.
if i can survive one day, i'll survive the next day and then a week, and then months..
after that, i'll be fit to have myself back on the market! =)

but for the time being.. i really need to freakin do something before i fall back again. someone please make time move faster. though time actually flies just like that.. it's only a month away from STPM.. not forgetting that it's pass 2 months already.. gosh, must everyone go through 3 whole months of misery before everything just fades away?? bah! i'm pathetic..

let's just do something to kill time..

[How's Life?]
life aint that simple after all

[Who was the last who sent you an sms]
Mervin

[Are you good in your studies?]
i'm average, but pretty dumb most of the times

[Can you speak English?]
can u not ask the obvious?

[Who was the last who said "Love You"?]
there's over a million people in the world saying that everyday.. how am i suppose to know who freaking said that last?

[Who is the most Annoying Person you know?]
myself

[FutureSchool/College/University?]
hopefully some Uni in KL, better still, overseas..

[What time is it now?]
10pm

[What song are you listening to now?]
What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts

[How many friends do you have on Friendster?]
i don't care.

[Who are you chatting with?]
myself? no one.

[Are you in trouble for now?]
i'm not in any trouble now.. i just need help, support.

[Have you been Broken Heart before?]
i'm now trying to mend my shattered heart ok?

[Missing Someone?]
lame question

[What day is today?]
just another day which i'm trying to go through

[Any birthday's coming up? Who's ?]
not in the mood to celebrate anyway

[Bored?]
isn't it obvious? stop asking the obvious..

[Last Channel you watched on TV ?]
can't remember.. i only browse the channels on tv, i don't watch 'em

[What time did you sleep last night?]
it doesnt matter.. havent' been sleeping well anyway

[Do kids love you?]
i dont know

[Do you make people Laugh?]
i hurt people, may it be physically or mentally, and make them cry

[Do you give away your secret to anyone?]
of course not to any Raju, Abdul or Mei Ling.. (my malaysian version of Tom, Dick or Harry)

[Ever Smoked?]
not so far.. Sheesha not counted..

[Ever Drinked?]
yes, that's when all your worries are gone and you'll feel so free.. for only the moment.

[Ever got drunk?]
nope. only high.. would have puked the whole day if i was..

[Dumped Someone?]
i don't go around dumping people K..?

[Are you Caring, Loving and Tender?]
no, i'm self-centered, hateful, and unfriendly..

[Do you love getting msgs at friendster?]
no.. they are just basically forwarded chain mails or some desperate person seeking for a 'friend'..

[Are you bored of doing this?]
what say you?

[What's your fantasy?]
i don't have fantasies.. only bad dreams.

[Are u in anger right now?]
wow, this questionnaire actually reads emotions.. i'm more of frustrated..

[Are u angry at someone?]
yes, at myself for being so pathetic.

[What do u really want to do now?]
i've got nothing to do, hence this.

[who's the prettiest?]
What the..?

[Do you believe in soulmates]
no. i can hardly believe in those bullshit anymore.

[Cried]
need i answer?

[laughed]
cant even remember the last time i really laughed till my sides hurt.

[Felt sad]
this questionnaire doesnt only reads your emotions, it also loves stating the obvious. lame.

this aint helping.. it's just making me frustrated.. hey, but it keeps myself from doing what i'm not supposed to.. so it's helping.

good. i shall continue. bear with me.

one pathetic hill

2006-10-11T11:34:00.000+08:00

remind me never ever to start watching One Tree Hill again..
it's degrading, disappointing and just basically saddening..
it's just all about getting together, breaking up, having sex and the relationships goes round in circles..
sadly, this is the world. depressing to see the world through a show though.

bah! nvm. i'll watch cartoons instead. or should i say, i better start studying..

toddles.

positive thoughts

2006-10-10T21:50:00.000+08:00

when times get hard and you're going through a rough phase in life, we humans rarely think of good thoughts to stay strong and help ourselves through it.. endless negative thoughts will keep pouring back out like an overflowing pail of water.. some say that the mouth is the deadliest weapon of all, i'd say the mind's just as deadly.. these thoughts will just tear you down peice by peice, flesh by flesh.. (okay.. maybe not to such a gruesome extend.. lol) but the bottom line is, having bad thoughts are the worse thing one can go through in times of distress.

so, that's when friends come in. may it be new found friends, friends whom we've not been in contact for long or just plain good ol' buddies! they'll be there to help you stay strong.. they are always there to make sure i'm okay and never fail to lift my spirits and help me stay positive! everything won't be all that bad as long as we look on the brighter side of it.. =)

would like to take this opportunity to thank all my great friends each and everyone of you!!
thanks for supporting me and always helping me to stay sane.. lol..
thanks to some for keeping me in prayers as well =)

well, the wind will change it's direction somehow..

-think good thoughts and appreciate the better part of things in life-

opps.. more like indulgences.. but still, good things can come out of it =)

be good.

2006-10-09T20:32:00.000+08:00

what i'd really need and want - a close sibling(s)...

i really envy a lot of my friends, especially ones with really close siblings.. may it be an elder brother or sister, or lovely younger siblings.. whereby they can share all their ups and downs with and there's no limit to whatever they wish to tell..
they will always be there for you through thick and thin.. you'll never feel alone no matter how heavy the strom may be..
they will cheer you up, help you overcome your problems and just lend you a shoulder to cry on.

i'm not saying that i don't appreciate the one and only brother i have now, but i'd wished that we could have bonded more in the past.. though he's always quiet, i guess he knows i'm having a hard time as well.. i'm happy that at least he's here in penang.. it'll definitely be better if we could have learnt to share and communicate more..

may we both be strong and able to go through our own obstacles..

Random Lyrics

2006-10-09T00:40:00.000+08:00

Nick Lachey - I Can't Hate You Anymore

An empty room can be so deafening,

The silence makes you wanna scream,

It drives you crazy.

I chased away the shadows of your name,

And burned the picture in a frame,

But it couldn't save me.

And how could we quit something we never even tried,

Well you still can't tell me why.

We built it up, To watch it fall.

Like we meant nothing at all.

I gave and gave the best of me,

But couldn't give you what you need.

You walked away, You stole my life,

Just to find what your looking for.

But no matter how I try,

I can't hate you anymore.

Your not the person that you used to be,

The one I want who wanted me,

And that's a shame but,

There's only so many tears that you can cry.

Before it drains the light right from your eyes,

And I can't go on that way.

And so I'm letting go of everything we were,

It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

We built it up, To watch it fall.

Like we meant nothing at all.

I gave and gave the best of me,

But couldn't give you what you need.

You walked away, You stole my life,

Just to find what your looking for.

But no matter how I try,

I can't hate you anymore.

Sometimes you hold so tight,

It slips right through your hands.

Will I ever understand?

Resolution

Nothin' but an empty page
Breathin' in an open space
Captured by your moments grace again
There's so much I left behind
Even more that waits in time
Everything's so undefined
I'm standin' on the edge of my fear
And I see it clear

Here's my resolution
I'm letting go
All I need to learn is
Along this road
And I just wanted to be the best man
I can be
Breathe
It's my resolution
Livin' life without a plan
Findin' soul is where I stand
Learnin' how to love again
And all I want is somethin' real
That I can feel

Delta Goodrem - Not Me, Not I

You mixed me up for someone
Who'd fall apart without you
Yeah you broke my heart for the first time
But I'll get over that too
It's hard to find the reasons
Who can see the rhyme?
I guess that we where seasons out of time
I guess you didn't know me

If you think love is blind
That I wouldn't see the flaws between the lines
Surprised that I caught you out
On every single time that you lied
Did you think that every time I see you I would cry
No not me, not I, not I, no not me, not I

The story goes on without you
And there's got to be another ending
But yeah you broke my heart it won't be the last time
But I'll get over them too
As a new door opens we close the ones behind
And if you search your soul I know you'll find
You never really knew me

All you said to me
All you promised me
All the mystery never did believe
No I never cry no I never not me not I

bay-bee...

2006-10-07T20:06:00.000+08:00

my baby,

it's been so long, so long that we've drifted apart
though i see you everyday,
i barely look at you properly anymore
i barely notice the minor things that i used to bother about
each and every detail of you that i never ceased to care of
i barely know you anymore..

there's no way we'll be able to relive those times
the people we've seen, the places we've been and the trials we've been through,
each scar seals the unimagined times of us together
full of thrills and excitement, flying through the wind
just priceless.

as the year draws near to an end,
i'm just so afraid,
afraid that i'll barely see you anymore,
afraid if you'll be properly taken care of
afraid that you wont remember me anymore
i will definitely miss you..

let's just spend more great times together while we can..
it's just back to me and you again.

my baby bike.. (something i can really call MINE..)

i promise i'll wash you every week and polish you every month.. every spoke of your rim and every single polish-able part of you k? muax. =)

LOL

truth is, there will be more things that i'll miss if i leave.
sigh.

caged-up

2006-09-29T16:41:00.000+08:00

i should be fed with bird seeds and water.

i want my cage to be like tweety's one.. there must be a lil wooden swing in the middle. ok?

thank you.

fuck, i can't wait to get out of penang.

Bird-Days

2006-09-27T23:01:00.000+08:00

Lydia's bday celebration..

Top : ME!, Shu Han, Yi Wern
Bottom : Ly, Sharon, Yen Chuin

the family; top : ah poh, ah ma, mummy, great-great grandma, lui lui (me), koko's admirer..
bottom : great grandpa, koko, the bear (house pet), daddy, great-great grandpa & urm.. the house maid? LOL... (just joking) more like great grandpa's "partner"

birthdays..
sigh.. never had the very one special birthday celebration though.. may it be one with surprises or just a plain sweet celebration, i aint getting any.

bah, whatever.. may there be hopes for my 21st birthday..

tsk. back to problem no.348 : shouldn't expect so much

card games

2006-09-26T14:38:00.000+08:00

i don't know how to differentiate between fantasy and reality.

my world came crashing down on me and now it’s so hard to start building my world on my own again. I don’t know what to believe and what not to. I don’t know what I should and shouldn’t do. even if I do, can I stand on my own and stick to my decision? The answer is no. every step I take, I end up falling 2 steps back. They always say, “Thursday’s child has far to go” I obviously do.. at this pace, I don’t even know when I’m able to stand up high at the top..

memories kept coming back.. the little things that makes and breaks me at the same time. How I wish I could relive those days when everything was just so wonderful, so perfect.. but nothing is perfect, nothing last forever. That’s when reality hits back.

I lived up to my promises. I assured you. But in the end, I was left behind, just as always. It’s about time I should realize. I shouldn’t take everything so seriously. it’s just a joke, a game, I’m the fool, I am to be blamed. The world is cruel. You need to know how to play your cards right to survive. There’s nothing in this world worth living for but yourself. I wish not to get involved in these games anymore. I suck at card games. I always end up losing.

i'm starting to lose my mind, bit by bit, day by day

trials are just next week. shit.

it's you, but it will never be you

2006-09-24T19:03:00.000+08:00

i know there's no longer any hope for me

and that's why i don't know how to go on

silly as it seems, i'm not hoping to find someone new

i don't want someone new to come along

cos i thought i found the perfect one, you.

2006-09-24T13:48:00.000+08:00

urgh..

i want to move out..

i want to get out of penang.

2006-09-18T00:30:00.000+08:00

my baby pillow.. (yes.. 'the' pillow most of you have seen and heard of..)
it's now always there by my bedside..
so warm, so huggable, so soft, just so lovable..
i love cuddling it and unconsciously,
my thumb tends to stroke it..
sigh.

it has become a habit.

help wanted

2006-09-16T20:36:00.000+08:00

i cant study, alone.. or more like, i just cant be alone..
i need a study partner...
well, i do have one already..
but sharon ppk-ed me toodayyy..... =(
oh well, i cant expect her to accompany me to study everyday just so that i can fill my time and mind with something more useful..
she's got her own stuff to do...
i need to get a life..
sheesh!

bottom line, i didn't study today......
instead, i slept, ate, think, slept, ate, click around my comp, think, sleep and ate some more..
shit. it's gonna be like that tomorrow as well.. i'm screwing myself..

does anyone know how to permanently stop yourself from thinking?
how i wish it was that easy, just like the 'reset' button on the PC whereby a lil press would just work.. and voila! the computer restarts anew.. the wonders of technology.. how i wish i was technologically made.. (i have no idea what crap am i blogging about)

anyway, i came across this book i bought last year, out of desperation to have my questions answered.. when that white bastard (ian) somewhat made me screw up as well..
'He's Just Not That Into You', yes, THAT book.. the no-excuses truth to understanding guys... reading all those articles and stuff inside really made me think twice on where i stand, but then again, i'm a person who has no stand... well, maybe on certain aspects.. i'm too fickle minded.. when i've somewhat cleared things in my mind, i'll tend to cloud it myself with my own thoughts.. maybe it'll just take more time, when i'll start to hate things i once loved and then forget all about it and laugh over it as i look back in this blog.

yes, i know i'm pathetic.. can't help it, was born like that.. lucky for you, you wont have to spend the rest of your life reading my blog, or even with me.

sigh.

i guess i've proven to myself that my life runs in cycles.. reading all those long-forgotten post in my blog shows nothing new.. for instance one of my past post states,

How screwed up can one's life get? or to be more precise, how screwed up can my life get??! the answer? UNDEFINED..nothing comes so easily. everything has got it's consequences or what i would call, 'payback'.. nothing seems to go smoothly for me. absolutely nothing. when i finally get my way at one particular thing, a row of bad situations will befall onto me in an instance.
(25/8/2005)

coincidentally, that post also contains my other pass experience of the same kind..

'payback'.. what goes around, comes around..
i really couldnt agree more..

thinking back, i remembered our RK teacher used to tell us that God has made someone for everyone.. someone that we will soon find who meets all our requirements, expectations and etc. and so she asked us to go home and write down every single detail we would want our future partner to be like, no matter how detailed it may be.. if i'm not mistaken, i did wrote down a list, kept it somewhere and have not seen it since then.. and come to think of it, i once casually list out the qualities that i'm looking for in a person on my friendster profile sorta just for fun.. so happened, all the sane and rational qualities and stuff i listed out matched. silly.. but oh well, it didn't work out.. don't think it will.

guess i'd have to really seriously re-write my list and keep it with me..

this is so random..

but heck, i'm so messed up.

find someone who will lavish you with endless love and gifts and who puts you first on their list NOT second.

nothing is forever, but hey! my forever last only 3 months.. wanna hook up? haha.. tsk.

the perfect toy. get 'em while it's still hot.

weekends brings the worst out of me..

like i've said once, and i'll say it again,
so what's next? come amaze me.. tsk.

2006-09-10T17:47:00.000+08:00

it's one of those days again.. sigh..

what happened the first time is still so clear in my mind.. what more what had just happened?
come to think of it, it's already been more than a month..

sigh.

i'm so screwed.. stpm's just around the corner. damn.

just 3 more months, everything will be over. then, hopefully kl brings more to life.

aggravation!

2006-09-05T19:38:00.000+08:00

>have you at any point of your life feel so helpless, so suppressed? i always do, and it's making me so sick of myself at times.. *sigh* what can i ask for more? me, being a melancholic kinda person, will never be able to take things into my hand, all i do is just let things be.. arghh.. frustration!!

i will always be overpowered, constrained by the sanguine, forever influencing people to think like they do.. just because i'm quiet most of the times, i do have MY OWN VIEWS and i DO NOT HAVE TO AGREE WITH YOU, bitch. i always give in to you cos i couldnt be bothered, but that doesnt mean you can climb over my head and dance around. ARGH! no one will listen to me. i can only win and shut you up with my outburst of rage and foul language, yet i wont be able to get my point through. but i've been so subdue to even want to argue with you. this is so saddening and to think of it childish that i am only able to resolve things through profanity.. tsk. i need to release my frustration.

why must i always think of others before myself? i'm so sick and tired of being taken for granted.. can't i freaking put myself first before anything else? or at least some people would put me at a level just as important as themselves? oh gawd, i should stop being so immature.. like la people would notice me at all.. BAH! however much concern you have for others, they will not necessarily care as much for you. self-centered PIGS.. stupid koko.

i'll most probably forget about everything after awhile and continue on with my pathetic self.. tsk.. lame..

gosh, i have to live with myself.

2006-09-03T00:31:00.000+08:00

what the heck am i waiting for?

for the freaking snow to fall in Malaysia?
for the moon to turn orange?
for someone to prove that the world is flat?
for the last moment on my death bed?

i wonder why do i keep torturing myself like that.

all i've been doing is wait.

waiting for the time i get my ass off to start studying
waiting for time to pass
waiting for everything to be over
just waiting, nothing else but waiting.

i must stop doing this every night. it's ruining my studies, my future, my life..

You're better than that and you don't have to validate yourself through another person's life. Every individual is an island and can be an island. You do not need a significant other to live life. So stop seeking something that isn't there and move on. -Foamy-

in the end, i still succumb to what's not there. what a dumb, thick-skulled, useless, emotional, troublesome nimrod, not even worth being labeled a bitch. i should be burnt to death.

sigh.

我还爱你

Rascal Flatts - What Hurts the Most

2006-09-02T13:55:00.000+08:00

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

sigh..

whenever you are around,
your presence makes me be at ease..
your smile always makes me light up..
your scent gives me a warm feeling in my soul..
your hugs never cease to calm my heart..

but still, i'll have to learn to live by myself again.
whatever it is, i'd still be here.

i'm so pathetic.

sigh.

the 'excursion'..

2006-08-31T14:11:00.000+08:00

as time draws nearer to stpm, i feel so relaxed and not bothered.. lol.. for example, we had a self-declared-pre-merdeka-celebration excursion..
the plan was to reach school by 7:00 am sharp, dump your bags in class, take your change with you and off we go in the car!
yup, simply put as, PONTENG-ing school.. yes i know, we're already 19 years old and yet we're playing truant just a few months before stpm.. and it's not those kind of self-declared study leave.. but plain LEPAK-ing.. (stop shaking your heads.. i know i'm getting really baddd... i just need some time to loosen up before i study? lol)

anyway, so, this is our first time playing truant for real.. those other times were.. er.. not counted.. we just went out for breakfast and er, maybe to our other friend's house for some entertainment for the other times...
this time is different.. lol.. as i was saying, our first stop was of course, breakfast! changed out of our uniforms and off to Zim Sum! had our tummies filled but our brains drained from thinking of where we could go next! lol... so we end up driving around and believe it or not, drove round the round-about at sunrise for about 5- 7 times.. and finally end up outside midlands.. hoping that the bowling alley or the arcades are open.. but who would freaking start their business at 9 plus in the morning..? especially penangnites.. even baskins wasn't open.. no ice-cream... =( some of us had to go pee but the grill at midlands wasn't even opened yet.. wahaha~~!! so we were all stuck entertaining ourselves in the car while enjoying the breeze.. lol.. then it finally struck me! we can all go cycling at Penang Hill!!!!!!

Penang Hill, here we come!!!

so we bought the tram tickets, got into the tram and waited eagerly like lil kids waiting for ice-cream.. okok.. maybe i was the only one like a lil kid.. hahaa.... didn't remember that the tram ride was so... so... slowwww.... goodness... i think i can walk faster.. (kononnya.. lol) was getting really hyped as we were about to reach the top BUT it started to rain!! nooOOoo.... and the rain started to pour heavier every 10 feet as we were going up.. (i think.. well, the point is, it just continued to rain pigs and cows.. T_T) there goes our cycling plan... gone down the drain!! but heck, we're just gonna enjoy anyway.. so as we reached the top, i just ran all the way to the shops under the pouring rain.. pity that the rest had to follow up with my madness.. wahaha~!!
and so we ate ais kacang clad in soaking wet clothes.. but the rain didn't stop..! i wanted to cycle round Penang Hill so much.. *sigh* maybe another time i guess.. so the madness continued.. we ran back to the tram station, freezing all the way down to gurney.. lol.. out of all sane things to do, we went to gurney to catch a movie... yes, still clad in our half rain-soaked clothes, to watch Monster House! a pretty fun and interesting movie though we were all nearly freezing to death and also desperately in need to relief ourselves...
finally, we got back to school at about 2 plus to get our bags and leave! lol..

all in all, it was indeed an exciting and unexpected day filled with fun and laughter =)
though it's not a good thing to do to skip school, i guess once in a while doesnt hurt.. tee hee hee.. too bad we didn't bring a camera along.. there MIGHT be another time.. blek.. =P

btw, happy Merdeka.. lol..

our lil outing =)

2006-08-29T20:00:00.000+08:00

at ann's house waiting for sookie.. there's always the camera to amuse us.. lol

sonia dear and me!
ann and me!!
this is when the cam-whoring starts... lol
kisses! ouh, i love kisses~! muax.
ann, sonia and me!
us again..
and again.. wahaha..
again and again and again... lol
luv ya girls... i look.. more chinese.. weird.. haha
sookie n me
oo, look.. me sipping a relatively huge ice blended drink..
sook n ri.. come to what i read from ann's blog, ri DOES look a lil like snoopy.. tee hee hee..
our colourful drinks.. i don't know those 2 at the back.. lol
yet again, i've got a straw on my face.. haha

hui jen n me.. (i was really on the phone.. jen was faking it.. lol)

oo.. we're floating...

with jie! her performance was great!
getting a lil whack..
enjoying the breeze at TAR College..

snapshot of us parading.. lol

at St. Mario's..
Ri pouring our drinks.. =)

sadly, no pics of us with the sheesha.. =P

2006-08-27T23:50:00.000+08:00

trying to walk on with such an immense load on your back is so hard, so tiring...
i really don't know for how long and how far i can carry this load..

it's so tiring staying strong, showing everyone i'm okay. i'm not strong, i never was. this face you see with tears i try to hide is so hard to show.
i feel like collapsing though i know u wont be there to catch me anymore. i'm just tired. just so tired. i want to rest. i want to not think anymore.

everyday starts and ends with never ending thoughts of you.
i've been thinking so much that it's giving me a headache..
i'm falling sick soon.

please stop these teardrops from forming in my eyes..
please stop these thoughts from forming in my mind..

i beg of you.

2006-08-27T21:06:00.000+08:00

some things just can't be put into words..
neither can some words be said anymore..

but i still miss you very much.

In holy matrimony

2006-08-27T14:31:00.000+08:00

Two lives, two hearts, joined together in friendship, united forever in love...

i think it's a blessing that two individuals are able to make it down the aisle together.. from then onwards, they will continue trusting and have faith in each other, spending the rest of their lives together.. a real blessing i'd say.. what more when those individuals met through the internet.. a bond so sacred and important should be cherished till the end..

"...for better or worse,

for richer or poorer,

in sickness or health.."

sigh.. now i don't think i'll ever be able to walk down the church aisle in the future..
hopes and dreams being crushed over by a steam roller

was at a Roman Catholic wedding this morning.. somehow, it made me reminisce a lot.. though i don't think we've shared anything in a church or whatsoever.. not with me for sure.. i just can never be good enough, not what you want, not your one.. at most, i can only be your second choice.

sigh. this is too depressing, i can type no more..

well, on a better side of life, i try to have fun and enjoy..

yesterday was fun.. went shopping with ann and sonia dear.. 3 in a room, changing, laughing and most importantly cam-whoring.. lol.. will post pics up as soon as i get them from ann.. then was dinner together with sookie and ri at Food Dot Com (previously named Seahorse, next to CSC and also a place where we once had dinner after the beach..) anyway, got ourselves all fully loaded and then off to Tar College for the Rock of Ages concert.. luckily we were in time to catch Jie's performance but too late to register for the lucky draw.. grand prize - an electric guitar.. oh well, what's not yours will not be yours.. so, next was more shopping at Batu Ferringhi.. but damn, it was raining!!! we didn't get to shop... =( but instead, we sat at Mario's to have a drink and tried smoking Sheesha.. 5 of us sharing one.. can't really get the hang of it.. kept sucking the smoke into my lungs and end up choking.. lol.. while sookie was puffing away like a chimney.. we love the smell of it.. sweet apple taste.. but don't know why ri doesnt like it.. lol.. too bad ann's camera ran out of batteries, so we didn't had any pics of it.. oh well, there's always another time! =) but poor sookie puked by the roadside on the way home.. guess beer, sheesha and not having enough rest isn't a good combination.. hope you're alrite gal!

how i wish everyday's filled with so much fun.. at least it keeps my mind occupied from thinking too much..

anyway, have fun peeps.. and good luck to those with exams coming up.

3 whackos, 2 webcams n 1 chat window

2006-08-26T00:14:00.000+08:00

and this is what you'll get..

let's get retarded, hah!
let's get retarded.. in here..

lolz..

let's go hiking!! whee~!!
exercise is good! you'll not only tone ur muscles up n burn those calories, it makes you happy! =) cos when u exercise, endorphins are being released in your body.. yada yada yada.. which makes u feel good!! same effect goes for eating chocolates n ice-creams but a way more healthier approach.. i've had enough of cakes n ice-creams for now.. if it continues, i'll grow into a baby elephant soon.. wahaha.. so exercise it'll be!

btw, i got my fringe cut.. kinda like it =) another thing to be happy about *grin* =)

just look on the brighter side of life... du du du du du du du duu~~!! (nike advert..)
though i don't see the big picture of that bright side now..

let's just be happy! =)

scattered mind

2006-08-25T02:05:00.000+08:00

as each night passes by, i feel like i'm about to lose my mind. questions keep pouring, assumptions start to arise, thoughts start to run amok. i can no longer think rationally.. i'm getting very paranoid thinking of the worse that is happening. I don’t know how to judge, what to believe and what not to. Everything’s so uncertain, I am uncertain, I am confused, I am lost. I really don’t want this to go on. I don’t know how to cope with all this. My determination and will to move on is getting vague in my mind. I feel so helpless. I just really don’t know. Someone please just take all this pain away.

Shyane Ward - No Promises

2006-08-24T16:35:00.000+08:00

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Every time you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you to know girl.

I don’t wanna run away,

baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight,

I just wanna die in your arms

Here tonight

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Everytime you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you you to know girl.

I don’t wanna run away,

baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight,

I just wanna die in your arms

I don’t want to run away,

I want to stay forever, thru Time and Time..
No promises

I don’t wanna run away,

I don’t wanna be alone
No Promises
Baby, now I need to hold you tight,

now and forever my love

No promises

I don’t wanna run away,

baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight,

I just wanna die in your arms

I don’t wanna run away,

baby you’re the one I need tonight,

No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight,

I just wanna die in your arms

Here tonight

saw this song in MTV, pretty suitable for depressed, sucidal, sad case broken hearted people.. it's about a couple (obviously) well, the guy's dead for goodness knows what reason.. but it's just touching.. watch it if possible.. sigh..

makes me wonder, would you rather your loved one die or leave you?

sometimes, i'd rather my love one die.. sad, sadistic, selfish you might say.. but for me, at least i know he died having me in his heart.. but then again, no one wants to be in that situation.. of course, i would not want any of my loved ones die, neither do i want them to leave me.. i guess sometimes, there isn't a choice.. it's not a game whereby you're the main character, controlling the plot of your story.. things just happen, shit happens and sad to say, very often shit like this happens to me..
After all, it was a closed door to begin with.. it’s not my exit, never will be my way out. I was the one who tried forcing the door open anyway.. though it opened for me, the lock is still deeply embedded into the door.. how stupid can I get? and now here i am, back in that blank space of mine.. i'm just so tried of searching for that door.. that exit.. guess there's no point in moving, everywhere will still be the same; white, blank and empty.

this is my greatest joke on earth i suppose.

but hey, it's not the end of the world i guess.. i'm still alive rite?

btw, thanks for all the support gals! old school mates are still the best =) seriously, each and every one of you..
but not forgetting a few other really helpful kind-hearted souls.. you know who you are =)
thanks again.

i will survive.

The Break-up

2006-08-04T19:26:00.000+08:00

well as ironic as it seems, i just watched the movie and it pretty well fits my situation. but i'd really hope not to have the same ending. i really do. i know or at least i think i know i should not put so much hope, well that's what everyone says. but frankly, it's the only thing that can keep me sane for now. i really do not know how to hold on but to just hope. the hope i used to have brought me happiness and i really wish that this hope can bring me back my happiness.

i hate that i've to see you now knowing that you cannot be with me.
i hate myself for bringing things up. or this wouldnt happen.
i hate not being able to feel your warm embrace every time i see you.
i hate the fact that i can no longer lie on your chest and listen to your heartbeat.
i hate not being able to go to secret recipe like we said we would.
i hate not being able to hug you anymore and feel loved.
i hate to think that you no longer love me anymore.
i hate myself for not being able to cheer you up when you were down before.
i hate being so helpless not knowing how to make you happy.
i hate not being able to catch the sunset at the beach with you.
i hate not being able to go to the beach with you.
i hate not being able to cuddle you in the movies.
i hate that we can't share slurpees anymore like we used to.
i hate not being able to hear you sing for me again.
i hate crying everyday over thoughts of you, us and not being together anymore.
i hate myself for not knowing how to face you and yet i want to see you.
i hate that i didn't get to bake you a cake.
i hate thinking that i'm not your worth.
i hate crying over songs that reminds me of the times we shared.
i hate not being able to sit in the car driving aimlessly not knowing where to go.
i hate that we didn't get a chance to share a banana split.
i hate that i wont be able to feel you plant a kiss gently on my forehead.
i hate not being able to go through things we planned together.
i hate knowing that i will not be able to celebrate my birthday ever with you, not even once.
i hate myself for being too attached to you, building my whole world around you.
i hate crying myself to sleep and waking up crying.
i hate myself for making you worry.
i hate myself for being such a failure, a mistake, your regret.
i hate not being able to hold your hand tightly.
i hate that there will be no more photos of us.
i hate that we didn't get a chance to sing together.
i hate not being to wrestle and tickle with you.
i hate that i will no longer be able to feel your care, love and attention anymore.
i hate not being able to be the one you would do sweets things to.
i hate that i wont be able to spend time with you anymore.
i hate not being your special one.
i hate myself.

as much as i hate what you've done to me and the things i'll not have with you, i still love you with all my heart and soul. i really do.

i shall never ever be as happy as when i'm with you.
i was not meant to be loved.

random thoughts

2006-07-30T11:31:00.000+08:00

another week has passed.. and the weekend is here again.. week by week these delusions start to engulf my mind like an uncontrolled division of cancer cells, overpowering my mind to function, to rationale, to reason. there is nothing i can do but submit to these delusions.

Fear : an unpleasant feeling of perceived risk or danger, whether it be real or imagined. Fear also can be described as a feeling of extreme dislike towards certain conditions, objects, people, or situations; fear of rejection, deception..

Paranoia : a term used to describe a psychosis of fear, related to a false perception of being persecuted. This perception often causes one to change their normal behavior in radical ways, after time their behaviour may become extremely compulsive.

nothing's more frightening than to be alone, when your mind runs wild and you are left helpless.
i'm afraid that sooner or later there will be no fine line in between sanity and madness.

things change, people change.. seems like studying abroad has done more good to him; being more outspoken.. not to say you weren't one, it's just different now.. though i know i'll never have that one soft spot in you like before, but at least we're talking now. i'm glad that you've got your dreams to acheive and i hope in 6 years time, i'll be getting legal advice from you. =) have fun dude.

2006-07-23T00:08:00.000+08:00

i really f*cking hate weekends. i should start studying. enough said.

note: if any of you have the time, try watching The Boondock Saints.. a year 1999 movie which i accidentally downloaded. pretty cool story of 2 good looking young irish lads who has got great bods, but may i warn you all for it's profanity.

anyway, i'm going to sleep.

2006-07-22T18:31:00.000+08:00

i HATE weekends.

how i wish i could make the weekends pass in just a wink of an eye..
there'll be only 12 hours a day on saturdays & sundays..
where i'll spend 8 hours sleeping and the rest for eating, on9-ing and blog nonsense like this, wash my baby, watch tv or just sleep more..

i wish i can be with you everyday... =)

miss u..

spices of India?

2006-07-21T23:05:00.000+08:00

heck no! i'm not acting as a passer-by on a background scene of an indian movie.. lol... more like we had a trip up to the tropical spice garden somewhere in teluk bahang.. organised by the 6th form society, us, some saturday ago.. i think it was last week.. whee~! fun, fun, fun! especially when it's with sayang! teeheehee... *grin* not a bad place actually.. pretty nice for nature people... scroll down for pics! =)

"the wheels of the bus goes round n round...."
(that aint my finger.. it's the stupid vege-perverts'.. lol)

us

pretty maidens in a row... LOL!

love u so much!

i'm gonna have a wedding pic like this one day.. wahahaha.. just kidding..

we won the tresure hunt... nyeni-nyeni-bo-bo lol..

the group

agony

2006-07-21T06:46:00.000+08:00

my throat is in pain. i've got tonsillitis.. my tonsils are infected.. oh great.. my first line of immune system is down, and i've got an exam next week.. that explains the tremendous pain in my throat... but that's not the best part, big white patches could be seen on my tonsils.. well, that's what the doctor referred it to, but i'd say it's more like white bulges growing on my tonsils.. not only one but a few on both sides.. eww.. -_- it keeps growing that i feel that it's trying to close up my throat.. you can say i'm getting a lil paranoid but.. urgh.. i feel like shoving a small scraper and scrape off each and every single white thingys off like scraping barnacles off the propellers of a well-season boat.. what a relief that'll be.. and that's if i don't suffer having my mouth flooded with blood... that'll be double the eww...
anyway, guess my reflexes are getting a bit slow by the day... i only felt the pain for the past 2 days whereas the doctor said that the infection's kinda bad and could not possibly be only for 2 days.. eh? lol.. but the throat isn't the only thing bothering me.. my lymph nodes on my neck are swelled up as big as an elephant's leg.. (ok.. maybe i'm kinda exaggerating.. but the point is that it's uncomfortable!) considering that i've been sleeping for at least 8 hours for the past 2 days (excluding afternoon naps, hence i'm on9 so early just trying to finish my assignment..) i look like hell.. lol.. so pale.. and those eyes... it's as if i havent slept for a week.. those dark circles... *shivers* lol... i think i can qualify as a panda bear if i put on just a few more pounds! and voila! panda amy! lol..
and because of those dreadful 'barnacles', i'm so deprived from, FOOD! i can barely eat solid food cos it freaking hurts every time i swallow.. >.< *scrape scrape scrape* wahahaha~~!! but it always makes me wanna throw up each time i have my finger near to it... bah! not only that, taking my antibiotics makes me wanna regurgitate everything out again.. it's as if my esophagus is defying gravity.. it's going anti-peristalsis.. (if there's actually such a thing..) waaa~~!

i want to eat... -_-"

failure

2006-07-18T21:55:00.000+08:00

the MUET examination results are out.. i got a band 4.. i'd expected myself to get at least a low band 5, not a 4.. and i actually miss by 1 freaking mark to band 5.. fuck. i shouldn't have been so confident about this.. what is there to be confident about anyway? it's not that i'm good at English, i can just speak decent English or so.. there's nothing ever to be proud off, i'm not good at anything.. like what's always said, 'the higher your expectation, the greater your disappointment'.. something i use to remind myself of everyday.. guess i left that covered up at the back of my head.. and what more, i actually got the MUET school prize, so called having the best marks throughout the year.. what a disgrace.. tsk.. my life is always that ironic, that disappointing.. i should learn to accept things as it is and not to expect..
everything's so hopeless, no, i'm just hopeless, so useless.. i'm like a re-pieced shattered wine glass.. i break again piece by piece at the slightest movement, no longer being able to contain the finest beverage, not even water.. i'm not even fit to be related to a wine glass in the first place.. tsk.
what's my freaking problem? the world will never revolve around me, it revolves around the sun. i should learn to stand on my own two feet and not be so dependable, i should grow-up and be able to think more rationally, i should just change.
i'm a mistake.
i'm sorry.

i have a self-esteem problem.
i need therapy, badly..

the sweetest thing..

2006-07-08T17:36:00.000+08:00

it started off with a banana split,
and then a meaningful song,
you accompanied me when possible,
whenever, wherever, you tagged along,
then comes my favourite number,
which you struggled just to master,
moments ago, you sung to the crowd,
you came by me and took me out,
and showed the world we're meant to be,
i'm so happy that i can see,
you're definitely the one for me.

your endless sweet gestures cannot be measured,
it just makes me feel so special..
you're so sweet that i'm about to get diabetes =)

Thank God I Found You - Mariah Carey

2006-07-07T19:21:00.000+08:00

I would give up everything
Before I'd separate myself from you
After so much suffering
I finally found unvarnished truth
I was all by myself
For the longest time
So cold inside
And the hurt from the heartache
Would not subside
I felt like dying
Until you saved my life

Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby, I'm so thankful
I found you

I would give you everything
There's nothing in this world
I wouldn't do
To ensure your happiness
I'll cherish every part of you
Cause without you beside me
I can't survive
I don't want to try
If you're keeping me warm
Each and every night
I'll be alright
Cause I need you in my life

Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby, I'm so thankful
I found you

See, I was so desolate
Before you came to me
Looking back I guess
It shows that we were
Destined to shine
After the rain
To appreciate
The gift of what we have
And I'd go through it all over again
To be able to feel this way

Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby, I'm so thankful
I found you

Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby I'm so thankful
I found you

"SMILE"

2006-06-23T20:29:00.000+08:00

the school magazine's photography session was conducted last week.. though i didn't do much in helping vin out... but it was a very good excuse for most of us to, PONTENG CLASS!!! YEA!!! lol.. had pretty much fun hanging out in the hall taking our own pictures.. talking crap and sleeping..
besides getting to skip classes, we got a few group pictures taken by the profesional photographer for free!! it looks so much better than normal photos.. yay~!

the editorial board of year 2006

our dear editor, natalie aka Peter Crouch / Mrs. Ronaldo..

jeff, aka fei fei lap / the vegetarian-pervert-who-bets-on-football-like-nobody's-business-and-is-now-stinking-rich-from-it...

it's eileen.. studying macroecons kononnya..

a super duper blur yen...

my sayang!

the gals...

the 3 retards.....

who's capturing who??

dead tired... (it aint an act.. we all actually fell asleep in the hall..)

me dozing off like a pig..

sharon n me!

vin n me.. *grins*

our photo of priceless smiles =) (a number of ppl arent in tho..)

only hope

2006-06-16T22:52:00.000+08:00

The past week had been awfully terrible for me. A week filled with tears, fear, uncertainties and confusion. It was by far the most emotional period of time that I’ve experienced in my life. Never have I cried so much for so long. I was lost, I didn’t know what I should do.. all I could do was just to think and cry. But when you really love someone; you’ll do anything and just agree to their decision.

However, like what nian told me before, “the most important person in a relationship is yourself” I guess there are times when I have to think for myself and do what I wish to. And I’m glad that I voiced out how I felt and what I want, at least I’ll have no regrets over what I didn’t do. If I didn’t, it’ll most probably be the end of it already.

I’m happy that this relationship is being given another chance. There is hope. I do hope that we’ll see this to the end and I do not want to lose you again for I do not wish to go through that again. You’re very dear to me and you’re my only hope.

Love you.

And to my beloved friends, I’m really thankful that you all were there by my side as I went through all this. You guys never fail to check up on me everyday to see how I’m holding on. I do really appreciate it and will definitely cherish our friendship till the very end. And do bear in mind that I’ll always be here when any of you need me.

Love ya all too!

yet another lie.

2006-06-11T01:28:00.001+08:00

i thought i was the luckiest girl ever..
i thought my life has come to a turning point where i'll be happy for sure..
i thought my life was complete..

i thought u said u'll never leave me..

i never thought my life is a total lie.

ride

2006-06-10T14:55:00.000+08:00

have you ever sat down in a car, with your seatbelts on and still don't feel right about the ride? it's a feeling that you wished everything will be alright and hoped that it'll be over as soon as possible.

however, i've never break a shiver in my brother's car. no matter how fast he drives or how reckless it is, i still feel safe even without my seatbelts on. it's the feeling and trust that i have in him from the bond we've build for years. no matter what it is, in the end of the day, he'll make sure that we're both home safe.

right now, even though i'm not on any ride, i just feel insecure.

簡單愛 simple love

2006-06-06T15:36:00.000+08:00

NOTE : Due to some mushy written content, reader discretion is advised.. (don't say i never warn you all..)

說不上為什麼

我變得很主動

若愛上一個人

什麼都會值得去做

我想大聲宣佈

對妳依依不捨

連隔壁鄰居都猜到我現在的感受

河邊的風

在吹著頭髮飄動

牽著妳的手

一陣莫名感動

我想帶妳

回我的外婆家

一起看著日落

一直到我們都睡著

我想就這樣牽著妳的手不放開

愛能不能夠永遠單純沒有悲哀

我想帶妳騎單車

我想和妳看棒球

想這樣沒擔憂

唱著歌

一直走

我想就這樣牽著妳的手不放開

愛可不可以簡簡單單沒有傷害

妳靠著我的肩膀

妳在我胸口睡著

像這樣的生活

我愛妳

妳愛我

想簡！簡！單！單！愛

vin,

*to spare u guys the eye-sore, highlight if u are THAT desperate and interested in what i've got to say for my sayang.. (lol.. just kidding k? no hard feelings..=))*

at this very moment, it has been exactly about 3 weeks of unforgetable moments i've shared with you since that very special day. The day when we started the very first chapter of our story.. (ok.. maybe not the first chapter.. the first chapter began when we first met each other.. hehe.. so this will be our new chapter then since "our friendship has taken a new level" already.. lol)

anyway, words cannot explain how grateful i am to finally be with you now.. never could i imagine that we'll ever be together.. this is just like a dream come true.. my dream came true! i really appreciate everything you've done and sacrifice for me in order to put this relationship together.. i will not let your efforts go to waste and will do my part for you as well.. i just wanna let you know that i'm really thankful to have you in my life.. Thank You sayang! =)

i love you cos you endlessly show me your care, attention and affection for me..
i love the sweet things you've done for me all this while even before we were together..
i love hugging you and never want to let go..
i love your charm which makes you special in every way..
i love spending time just being with you..
i love your cute gestures which never fail to make me smile.. =)
i love to see and hear you sing and play your guitar..
i love it when you gently plant a kiss on my forehead.. *grin*
and mainly, i love you for who you are.. =)

you're one in a million and the only one in my lifetime.. being with you is just simply amazing and incomparable to anything else! you bring joy, happiness n wonders into my life.. you showed me how it is really like to be loved by someone.. a feeling so precious that i'll never want to loose..

I Love You!

to my one and only,

2006-05-25T00:19:00.000+08:00

you're my dream come true..

i love you so much!

Rascal Flatts - Bless The Broken Road

2006-05-21T13:09:00.000+08:00

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Now I’m just rollin’ home into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you

love you!
=)

back yet again

2006-05-01T15:51:00.000+08:00

well, i'm finally back to blogging i guess.. just posted up all those drafts and pics lining up in my blogger account.. it's meaningless to have a blog that isn't updated eh?
it's been nearly like a month since i've updated... was pretty much occupied with work from school and i didn't really felt like blogging anyway..

so let's see.. April has been one heck of a month..
i sprained my ankle while playing getah.. (yea, silly..), nearly donated blood but couldn't cos of my new ear piercing.. (yup, another hole again..), sushi mania!, met up with the gals for drinks, movie and also glo, sports day (got baked and burnt) help out at some family day thingy (got paid though), 1 week of restless nights due to business project.., got sick (still a lil sick), MUET exam, merv's bday celebration & last but not least, sonia's surprise party!

i'll let the random pictures do the talking:

eileen's bday in March

my newest ear piercing..

sharon & i @ sushi king

we had a feast..

the baby pillow that i made.. my baby =)

during sports..

girls nite out!

wet babes.. sounds kinky eh? lol

2 pirates and a gypsy at the fort..

birthday boy

n the 'target-of-the-day' =)

yen n i, all drench in the water battle.. lol

sonia darling's surprise party

the gang.. jie and ming missing tho..

my wonderful sis =) luv ya gal! (ali, dun kill me pls.. hehee)

gone insane.. %)

i shouldn't have

2006-04-10T17:57:00.000+08:00

i shouldn't have wished upon that star

'cos it'll only bring my endless rain
i shouldn't have gone out so far

for i've lost my way back to the plains

i shouldn't have been so evil

having thoughts only fit for a witch
i shouldn't have been so self-centered
being what i am, such a bitch

i shouldn't have been taught to think

so i wouldn't need to worry
i shouldn't have been taught to rationale

so i wouldn't be in such difficulty

i shouldn't have been taught to feel

so i wouldn't know what hurt is
i shouldn't have been brought to life

so i wouldn't have to go through this.

i hope that this is the end of it.

-My Blog, My World, My Life-

we need your support!

the sister i never had

/sweat

so near BUT yet so far

the good, the bad and the ugly

second childhood

overshadowed

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007!

random chat out of boredom..

oh uh

my chan mari chan

urgh..

it's a world out there

All Good Things Come to An End

finally

was i the one on the phone or the one in the next room?

simple calculations

maths = die = DIE!!!

the girl who always puts sense into me

*aAhcHUuu*

unexpected

Ungu - Seperti Yang Dulu

help

i need a place..

groggy and weak

my funeral wake

doomsday countdown

tagged

when stupidity kicks in

MY 'statement'

Bon Appétit

incoming baby!

baby tv baby

Waiting On An Angel - Ben Harper

hug?

a 'pirated' post...

the power of HUGS

walking on

the 100m mark

time-killing marathon

one pathetic hill

positive thoughts

Random Lyrics

bay-bee...

caged-up

Bird-Days

card games

it's you, but it will never be you

help wanted

aggravation!

Rascal Flatts - What Hurts the Most

the 'excursion'..

our lil outing =)

In holy matrimony

3 whackos, 2 webcams n 1 chat window

scattered mind

Shyane Ward - No Promises

The Break-up

random thoughts

spices of India?

agony

failure

the sweetest thing..

Thank God I Found You - Mariah Carey

"SMILE"

only hope

yet another lie.

ride

簡單愛 simple love

to my one and only,

Rascal Flatts - Bless The Broken Road

back yet again

i shouldn't have

aAhcHUuu